Monday, September 22, 2014

The Journey - Fight On

The last year has been a time of getting up off the mat and continuing to fight, pushing forward, refusing to give up, and trusting God with my choices. 

I wrote and launched the revised The Journey of Eleven Moons, created a new book, Where Eagles Soar, and started another called To Dance With Dolphins. And I did all the other things people do, plus stood up to my ongoing battle with pain.

My recent release, Where Eagles Soar, was the most difficult writing project I've ever done. There was so much to learn - memoir writing is not fiction, and fiction is what I know how to write. I worked on this project independently, which means I had to maneuver through the publishing process without a partner, though I did have kind friends who were willing to answer my endless list of questions. More than once I was ready to give up. I cried some and prayed a lot. In the end, I managed to reach the finish line ... kind of. The job continues as I do my best to introduce this incredible story and its courageous heroine to the world.

Why? I had a purpose - fulfill God's will. 

I think Lily and her story helped me find courage. She grew up in the midst of unrelenting hardship and survived because she didn't give up. She's still that way. I've watched her push through physical and emotional pain, disappointment, adversity, and fear. But her faith remains strong. I admit that sometimes I've thought she ought to be easier on herself, rest more and not push so hard. But those decisions are hers, not mine. I stand back and admire God's work in her.

So, how do we know when to keep pushing toward a goal, to dig down for more strength or to cry uncle and let it all go? How do we know the difference between God's call and our own?

I don't think we always know. But God is full of grace. 

After my accident in 1991 I slipped into what felt like a bottomless pit of depression. After months of doctor visits and physical therapy I learned I'd never be the person I'd once been and that pain would be a constant companion. It was the Lord who reached down and lifted me out of that pit. And it was his promise to walk with me that helped me move forward. I've pushed on, sometimes when resting would have been best. And I've rested when I should have worked harder. In the end, the Lord has used it all.

There have been times in my life when I just couldn't keep on keeping on. How about you? Have you had to just let go? In those times when you felt you had no more to give, were you able to dig down and find strength and courage to push forward? 

How did you do it? What was your greatest help? And how did you feel on those occasions when you knew it was time to simply rest?

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie



2 comments:

  1. OH, Dear Bonnie, Thank you for pushing on to write WHERE EAGLES SOAR. I cannot tell you what it means to me because I don't know the words but God's Holy Spirit within me knows the blessed work it is doing in my life. God Bless you.

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  2. Roberta, when Lily first shared her story with me I knew I was supposed to write this book. I have prayed that it would be a balm to those who read it. And to hear from such a dear friend that it is that in your life is the greatest blessing to me.

    Thank you so much for telling me. All my love to you.


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