As a child, one night I was awakened by our barking dog. No one shushed him. I listened and heard sounds coming from the kitchen. At first, I thought I must be imagining it, maybe it was a remnant of a dream. But the sounds continued, the dog growled, and the rest of the house remained silent. I waited, hoping someone would wake up and check it out, but no one stirred except my sister in the bed next to me. She was no help. She pulled the covers over her head and pretended nothing nefarious was going on. I wished I could convince myself she was right.
The noise continued and I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to know. I got out of bed and opened the door that led into the hallway.
Someone was there! I could hear them. I shouted, "Who's there?!"
Footsteps ran toward the front of the house and charged out the front door with our barking dachshund in hot pursuit. And then the household woke up.
That is a snapshot of me. I have to know. It's easier for me to handle challenges if I know what I'm up against. That's how I've always been. And will likely always be.
However, recently when an MRI came back revealing a growth on my left kidney, I found myself wanting to avoid calls from my doctor. Did I really want to know the truth? No. I wasn't ready to know.
After a CT scan had been done, I actually ignored the first call from the doctor's office. I wasn't ready yet. However, I answered the next call and was told I have a tumor, which I've since discovered is cancerous. We - the doctor's, God and I are going to take care of it.
That incident got me to thinking. We believe we want to know the truth about circumstances in our life, including the truth of God's Word. But do we really? Would we rather pull a blanket over our head and refuse to see?
Sometimes the truth is hard to look at. But ignoring it never serves us well. At the very least, if we're unable to act upon whatever it is we discover, we will know better how to pray.
I have been dealing with a good deal of frustration about how so many people seem unwilling to look at what's happening in the world these days. I have had little empathy for those who refuse to see. But this incident with my doctor has reminded me that sometimes we just need to be patient and wait until a person is ready to hear.
Most of you very likely know that something is weird in the world. Things are off. Something IS wrong. And you have not looked to see what it is because you're not yet ready to know. But what is happening is truly dire and we all need to know. Now, possessing a little more compassion, I am praying that you will pull the blanket off your head and seek the truth.
Do not be faint of heart. God will not fail you. Really.
Like the cancer growing in my kidney, if I ignore it ... it will destroy me. Why would I allow such a thing?
Grace and peace to you from God,
Bonnie
