Forty-Four Years & Still Together

Forty-four years ago today, I pledged to share my life with Gregory Leon. Celebrating still.

I met my handsome hunk of a man when I was just seventeen. He was nineteen and in the Navy. He looked so good in his uniform.

Truly hunky, right?







I was on my way out to a party, when my brother walked into  our house with a guy who had the most amazing green eyes and broad shoulders. I decided there was no reason to hurry out the door.

Our exchange that night was brief, but I was hooked. I never dated another man. And two years after our first meeting we were married. 

And after that day it was utter bliss and has been ever since - NOT!

This isn't a romance novel. We had a rough beginning, full of anguish and heartbreak. After four years together, we separated for seven months, and my husband filed for divorce. 

But that wasn't the end of our story.

God had other plans for us. As he worked in each of our hearts we realized how much we loved one another and came to understand that we belonged together. We each had a life-changing encounter with The Great I Am and offered our lives to Jesus Christ. And then, we began again, brand new in the Lord.

So, is there a magic formula for staying together? Is there a way to guarantee that you'll enjoy a long and happy marriage? No. I wish there was a formula. And if you find one please make sure to tell the world, which is in desperate need.

This is what I do know:

• When Greg and I became children of the Living God, we were made new and the anchor of our marriage became Christ. He is where we begin and where we end.
• The "D" word, divorce, is not in our vocabulary. We committed to the long haul, no matter what.
• Sacrifice is part of our life. We each give to the other (even when we don't want to)
• Forgiveness - There is nothing that we can't forgive. God forgave us everything.
• We give our partner wings to fly. And cheer each other on. And when one of us doesn't fly well we help pick him/her up and encourage them to fly again.
• There is no score board in our home. We try not to keep score of the faults in one another, but do make note of each other's good qualities ... often. And we tell one another that we know these wonderful things about the other.
• Saying thank you is more than just being polite. We say it often. 

There are a lot of other things I could add, but this short list is what comes to my mind first. Greg and I are imperfect and we're not always nice to each other. But the core of who we are is strong and no matter how ornery we get, we always come back to the core of us which is secured in love.

I am thankful for our life together. There are so many wonderful things I'd like to tell you about my husband, only there isn't room here. I will say this, I am thankful that God brought him into my life. And I am certain we will not be parted by anything other than death.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Topic Of The Day -- Can Your Marriage Last?

Today, my husband and I celebrate forty years of marriage. Often people are surprised to hear we've been married so long. In today's world long marriages seem to be the exception rather than the rule. I think that's sad.

So, how did Greg and I make it this far?

It wasn't us. It was God. Without Him we wouldn't be together. Thirty-six years ago, we separated and Greg filed for divorce. He told me he didn't love me and never would. Life was awful. I cried a lot and thought I'd never find happiness.

Greg and I were a wreck of a couple, even from the very beginning. The day of our wedding, I walked down the aisle thinking, "If it doesn't work we can always get a divorce." Clearly I had little faith in us.

But God had plans.

Grieving and trying to learn to live on my own, I found Christ. I started praying that God would restore my marriage. Greg, for reasons he didn't understand, would stop by to see me . . . more and more often. Over several months friendship was restored and Greg discovered that he did love me after all. One surprising day he asked me to return to him. I was scared spitless, but knew that being at Greg's side is where I belonged. We were reunited and only two months later, Greg gave his life to Christ. Since that day, we've followed a Christian path together. There have been valleys to walk through and mountains to climb, but we've stuck together.

There is no magic formula. It's Christ. He is at the heart of our relationship. And when we chose one another for the second time we made a commitment to never throw in the towel. The "D" word was not allowed in our home.

Today, I look back over the years and see a long list of things we've done wrong, but so much of our life has been filled with richness and joy. We love each other more today than we did on our wedding day forty years ago. Greg is a good man and I'm so grateful God placed him in my life. And thankful for God's mercy and His greatness.

Every couple struggles--expect it. But don't give up. Instead give yourselves to God. He's in the business of restoration. Believe in Him and know that He can do it.

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie

Tips For Triumphant Living--Forgive One Another

August 14th, my husband and I celebrated our 37th anniversary. It’s almost too many years to imagine. Even more difficult to imagine is that at one time we weren’t going to make it at all. We’d separated and filed for divorce.

After four turbulent years Greg and I had decided being married to one another was not what we wanted. We’d committed unforgiveable offenses against each other. I was not an ideal wife, far from it. Proverbs 19:13 says, A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. I was a quarrelsome wife. And I let my husband down in untold ways. Greg was no piece of cake either. He had a foul temper and a wandering eye.

After discovering he’d been unfaithful, we split. Seemingly there was no way for us to succeed as a couple. We had destroyed the love we'd had when we first set out together. After months of tousling, all that was left to do was sign the divorce papers.

But God had another plan, a better plan. He meant to save our marriage. It began with Christ, and he asked us to forgive. During our separation I discovered Jesus and accepted Him as my savior. I was new person and began to pray for my marriage.

After months, we were miraculously reconciled. Greg came to know Christ and has been a man of God ever since. Only through the power of the Holy Spirit were we able to forgive each other. And God restored our love.

I sometimes think about what would have happened if Greg and I had been unwilling to listen to God and to obey Him. I’m sure I’d have no inkling even of where he was or what kind of life he had lived. But God was gracious and because of His love we are still together, and we are in love and looking forward to many more years together. It took a miracle, but here we are, still the two of us.

Is there something you think is unforgiveable? If so, think about all God has forgiven you. What would happen if He couldn’t forgive you? Where would we all be then?

Forgive one another, love one another and good things will come.

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Take Possession of the Land.

Earlier this week while reading Joshua my mind went to a special day, a moment when God answered the prayer of a broken-hearted woman. On that day He gave me all I’d asked for and more.

There was a time when my husband and I were getting a divorce (that’s another story). As a new believer I understood, as a child does, that her Daddy can do anything. So I asked God to restore my marriage, bless us with children, and allow me the privilege of being part of a Christian family. And I also asked if He’d mind giving us a home on acreage. I know it sounds silly, but having a little farm was part of my dream.

God honored my prayer. My husband and I were reconciled. When, Greg, asked me to try again I was afraid; I’d been deeply wounded. But like Joshua God wanted me to take possession of the land—to be courageous and to obey. So with what little faith I had I stepped forward, trusting in the promise. My husband and I fell in love again and in the years that followed we were blessed with three children. We worshiped together and served together. And then one day we were given the home I’d prayed for so many years before.

When the land (five acres) was offered it made no sense to purchase it and move from one state to another. My husband had a terrific job in Seattle and the United States was in the midst of a terrible recession. But God said, “Go, take possession of the land I give you.” With our shield of faith in place we moved to the foothills of Southern Oregon.

The transition wasn’t easy—the recession had taken hold in our rural community. We faced innumerable obstacles and challenges, but God walked with us through each and every one. We’ve spent twenty-seven years in this place that He gave us. We raised our children here, served our community and our church and have offered hospitality to many who have walked through our door. And we’ve loved each other here. This place is our promised land.

There are days when all I see are the ruts in the driveway, the mud tracked in on the carpet, the garden that needs tending and I think that a small place in town with sidewalks and city water might be nice. God in His graciousness reminds me of all that He’s given. Me and my family have been blessed beyond measure here in the foothills of the Cascades. If my husband and I had been too afraid or too distracted or too something and had not listened to our Lord’s leading we would have missed out on His special gift to us.

I am living a dream. God gave me more than I could ever hope for. My Christian children are grown now with children of their own. And I am privileged to be a part of their lives. I am still in love with the man I married 36 years ago and we still reside on the land God gave us.

Is God offering you “a promised land”? Don’t be afraid. He knows the beginning and the end and He will stand with you while you take possession.

Grace & peace to you from God.

Bonnie