I know God pretty well. We've been walking together ever since I met Him forty-two years ago. I was only twenty-three. Since then, I've experienced God's deep love, I've been filled with unfathomable joy and peace, and received miraculous answers to prayer. But all of the days have not been easy or uncomplicated. There have been times of confusion, fear, and disappointment, and moments when I've asked, "Why God?"
Scripture tells me that God is never confused. He is not afraid. He is never double-minded. It also says He is always wise and full of knowledge. He knows the beginning and the end of all things. And He loves me, even when I don't deserve it.
God listens to my heart. He has answered my every prayer. I have no reason to doubt Him. Yet, I do.
Perhaps it's because I know He will do what is right. His answer to my prayer may be yes, but it could wait or even no.
I've never been good at waiting and I don't want to hear no. I want things my way. But God's answers to my prayers can't be about me and what I see in front of me. There is so much more ... plans I can't even imagine. And God knows what must be done to accomplish His purposes.
Why then do I sometimes lie awake at night and imagine the worst and allow sorrow and fear to creep into my soul. I suppose it is because I am human--imperfect and self-centered.
I don't want life to be painful or difficult for me or those I love. I want to feel cooling breezes that caress me with sweet fragrances. I want to dance through fields of untamed blossoms, wild and free.
One day I will.
For now, I am tethered to the earth where sometimes life hurts. But I'm not alone. None of us are. The Creator of all things, our protector, our healer, our Father is with us. He reaches for our hand and whispers, I am here.
Grace and peace to you from God,
Bonnie
