Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your way, or even lost yourself? Have you had times when you've wondered what happened to the
joyful, hopeful, inspired disciple of Christ you once were? The one who knew that with God nothing was
impossible. The one who saw the world as a place filled with possibilities.
That's me, at least some of the time. For the last several months life has been difficult, full of trauma, change and heartache. I think I'm grieving or just weary. But knowing that doesn't change the way I feel. And so I am left with a question. How do I find my way back to me, back to joy?
In my reading this morning Oswald Chambers’ words cut to my
heart. “God can do nothing for me until I
recognize the limits of what is humanly possible, allowing Him to do the
impossible.”
I must step aside and give God rule in my life. Trust Him with the troubles and sorrows, the changes and the fears.
Mind you, this is not a new lesson for me. I've been here before. But some lessons need to be taught again . . . and again. And so here I am, relearning or maybe it's best described as working it more deeply into my soul. Maybe this time I'll REALLY get it.
I’m pretty certain that I’ve previously mentioned that I love my life orderly and predictable. Change, for me, is like stepping blind-folded to the edge of a cliff. For eight months I've been standing on the edge of that cliff. Every day arrives filled with unanswered questions and often heartache. Nothing is predictable.
When my mind wanders freely without constraint I sometimes find myself feeling hopeless and a sense of loss threatens to sweep me up in a powerful wave. And then I reign in my unruly thoughts and seek refuge--my Lord. He sees me. He knows my heart, every fear and every hope. He stands with me and even carries me when I need Him to. And even though I am in a place where tomorrow is uncertain I know He will shine a light on the path before me and show me the way I should go.
Resting in Him allows God to do the impossible.
Grace and peace to you from God,
Bonnie
Bonnie,
ReplyDeleteReading this is like reading my own devotional post. I've been feeling so completely dry lately--spiritually speaking as well as everything else.
But I'm trying to put my thoughts on the One who can change all that--nothing is too hard for him.
Thanks for sharing your heart!
So sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. There seems to be a lot of that lately. It's so hard.
ReplyDeleteI try to remember that we all have "desert" experiences. And that getting good and thirsty makes us drink. We just have to remember to go to the One who gives living water.
Hugs to you, dear friend.