Have you ever had something happen that felt as if someone pulled the rug out from under you?
Yeah. Me too.
I've been having difficulty with my vision for about three years, but never expected my retinal specialist to say, "You're losing your sight, and there's no helpful treatment."
The day I went to see my doctor I anticipated he would suggest surgery for worsening macular puckering. However, additional tests were done and as it turned out, the puckering is only a minor problem. The real trouble is a condition called Macular Telangiectasia, Type 2 (MacTel for short). Without God's intervention, it will steal my central vision, leaving me only with peripheral vision.
That's a game changer.
I was in shock, but reality has set in accompanied by sorrow and outbursts of tears. All the plans I had ... what will become of them? How will I manage if I can't read, watch television, or thread a needle? I won't be able to drive a car or see the faces of my loved ones. My mother always taught me to see the beauty of the world ... what will become of that?
I'm freaked out. I cry off an on. But I am beginning to sort through the options and to see the possibilities and the beauty of change. I know God was not blindsided by this. He knew ... before I was even born. This is part of the plan.
God is my protector, my Father.
I trust Him.
He will show me another way.
This new journey means I become a student, hopeful that my other senses will become my eyes and continue to show me the beauty that surrounds me. I have a lot to learn from those who have already discovered the tricks of navigating in a seeing world when one's own sight is restricted.
In the mean time, while I can still see well enough I'm going to have some fun. This summer will be a vacation filled with family and friends, swimming and fishing, and road trips where I can relish the spectacular creation of planet earth.
I'll stay in touch and will love sharing my adventures with you, plus the lessons I learn as I travel this new path.
I will find a way. I am not giving up. The Lord has my hand firmly in His.
Grace and peace to you from God,
Bonnie
Let's just bag it all for awhile and go to Hawaii and snorkle in the warm water. I got a new swimsuit just in case it were to happen this winter! It didn't. We got ice dams 'n house damage instead! Maybe it WON'T happen that you lose your sight... Is that a possibility as well?
ReplyDeleteHey there, Patti. I won't lose my site if God heals me or if they come up with a treatment soon. Presently there is no effective treatment.
ReplyDeleteAnd Hawaii sounds good.
ReplyDeleteBonnie I will keep you in my prayers as you face this new journey with courage.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Naomi.
DeletePraying for you sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteKnowing so many are praying is a comfort. Bless you.
DeleteOh Bonnie. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you, and your family..
Thanks so much. God bless you.
DeleteHi Bonnie - Years ago, my Mom was told she would go blind (something with her retina). She's 92 years young, and the doctor's prediction never came to pass. God had other plans. Hugs, Susan
ReplyDeleteMy mom is 92 also. She's a wonder.
DeleteI'm thrilled to hear the doctor's prediction was inaccurate. Does a heart good.
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ReplyDeleteI will pray for you. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I so admire your strength. God bless you!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah. Thank you so much for your prayers.
ReplyDeleteHi Bonnie, I am Denise and I was also diagnosed with MacTel recently. You sound identical to me as far as your perspective on this situation. I too am knowing God has His hand upon me and will use this to glorify Himself through it. It is my job to be His vessel. But never losing the truth that my God is the restorer of all lost things even our vision. Thanks for sharing. I don't know if you are open to connecting on another level but I know no one else with this disease but it sure would be nice to know someone else. Jeremiah 29:11-13 God has a plan for our lives. Have a blessed day!
ReplyDeleteHello Denise. Thank you for contacting me. I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. And thankful to hear your strength is in the Lord. He has a plan for our lives.
DeleteI would love to stay in touch. Here's my email address - bonnie.leon52@gmail.com. Put MacTel in the subject line so I will be watching. Are you on facebook? You can easily find me there.
I love that verse. In fact I wrote it inside a book that I recently gave to a friend of mine. Bless you.