Love One Another

John 13:35 

"Your love for one another will prove you are my disciples."

Would you say this accurately describes your experience in the Christian family?

My answer is that it "mostly" does. Through the years I have shared my life with many lovely, remarkable people. I am thankful for my Christian family. However, some of my most painful experiences have been at the hands of other Christians. The arrows slung by my Christian family hurt deeply. The attacks always come as a surprise, and I am never fully emotionally prepared. I guess I expect better from the people who are supposed to have my back. 

The fruit of the spirit is described this way in Galatians 5:22-23. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

The fruit is available to each of us; it is given by our Lord. Christians aren't expected to be perfect, and we shouldn't hold one another up to an unrealistic standard, but we should never wallow in cruelty, dishing out anger and disappointment at those we should love. We can do better; we have the Lord. 

There is a lot of hatefulness in the world. It is most easily seen on social media. There seems to be no-hold's-barred kind of mentality there. When we are tempted to jump in and sling an arrow it is wiser and kinder to stop, take a breath and ask ourselves what God would have us do instead.

The same harmful and evil behavior we see in the world can be found in our churches, though we try to keep it hidden. 

One of the most painful experiences of my life occurred within my church. The sin unfolded in secret, and I believe manifested out of good intentions, but the enemy knows how to use our weaknesses and he is skilled in manipulation. 

When the evil was released and revealed it manifested in what I would best describe as spiritual abuse. Hunger for power and control was wrapped up in a spirit of self-righteousness and it fed flames of destruction that burned through our Christian family. A devastated church was left in its wake with wounded souls strewn about, some to never recover.

Even now, it grieves me to think of it. It took me a long while to sort it out and to release my hurt and anger ... and my disappointment. Over time, God helped me see what had taken place and replaced my hurt with love and forgiveness and a commitment to be aware of the wiles of the enemy and to pray for my beloved family. 

Because I am a writer, the natural way for me to release some of the hurt and doubt was by writing a book, The Heart of Thornton Creek. While creating the story I grew to understand that the power of the abuser is not different than any other kind of abuse, except the abuser uses the Word of God as a whip. Oh, how it must grieve The Father.

So, why am I talking about this now? We have been living through harrowing times and I believe the days are going to become more difficult, at least for a while. In the midst of hardship, it is easy to allow stress to rule and we sometimes strike out at one another when we're feeling afraid and uncertain. But we need each other now more than ever.

I encourage you to spend more time in The Word, more time in prayer and to be watchful for the enemy who prowls around like a lion in search of those he can devour. Let's not allow ourselves to become his prey.

Love and mercy are more helpful than a whip.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie