A Light

 My mother blesses my life. She's ninety-one and a bit worse for wear, but she's still moving forward, and I love how she travels. She's like a light in the darkness. 

These days, Mom can't walk, not even with the help of a walker, but she still manages to get around a bit in her wheel chair. We don't get out much because transporting causes her pain and takes someone who is strong enough to lift her in and out of the car. My aching back won't let me and it's even getting difficult for my aging husband. 

Life is not easy for Mom, but I rarely hear a word of complaint. If you ask me, she has a lot to complain about, but she doesn't see things that way. Through the years, she has found a grateful heart.

Though Mom grieves the loss of two husbands, a daughter, her parents, six of her siblings and many other loved ones, she understands they have simply gone on ahead of her and one day they will meet again. She looks forward to a grand reunion. 

Mom lives a life of dependence, relying on others to help her bathe, use the restroom, get her dressed in the morning and ready for bed at night. She no longer makes her own meals. Those are prepared by her caregivers. The details of her life are worked out by others, mostly those who love her. She never misses an opportunity to let us know how grateful she is.

Sometimes Mom wonders why she's still here on earth. Only God knows for certain, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the tenderness, warmth and affection she offers the people in her life. We need her.

I see Mom as a radiating light that reminds me to embrace life and to be thankful for all the gifts offered to me each day. 

Yesterday she gave me another beautiful reminder. Mom's not been able to attend church because it's difficult to transport her. When she told me she how much she misses going I decided to find a way. It wasn't difficult and I wonder why I hadn't thought of it before. I called the ambulance service we use for taking her to the doctor and was glad to discover they are open on Sundays and would be happy to take Mom to church. 

Yesterday I met her there. The driver was such a nice man and was clearly smitten with my mother. Many people are. She's a charmer. I think it's the light in her eyes and her warm smile. Just as worship began I wheeled her inside and we found a place to sit. 

Mom had difficulty reading the words on the screen, but sang the songs she knew. She listened to the pastor and only dozed a little. I wasn't sure just how much she'd gotten from her time there, but hoped she'd enjoyed the service. While we waited for her ride we chatted with friends. Mom was clearly having a good time. She crooked her finger at me and I bent to hear what she had to say.

"I don't think you understand how wonderful this is!" she told me, her face alight.

She was right. I didn't. And it could have been different. She might have been focused on how many times she hadn't been able to go, or have been grumpy about her pain or lack of sleep ... or ... That's not Mom's way. 

I marvel at what a grateful heart can find to be thankful for, and by how much joy and blessing there is to be had if we seek the beauty in life instead of its imperfections.

So grateful to be my mother's daughter.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

A Starry Host

Do you like trials and tribulations? The darkness? 

Not me. If I could have my wishes fulfilled there would be no valleys or dark places. But God loves me and when my mind carries me into wishful thinking He reminds me that He is the One who holds my life in His hands. The One who formed me in the darkness of my mother's womb. The One who created all the universe. The One who numbered my days.

When I step out on my deck on a winter's night, the display in the sky reveals the Creator. And I can see that it is on the darkest night that the stars shine brightest. And that each and every star was set in place by the same One who holds me in His hands. 

Isaiah 40: 25- 26 To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens. Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Father God is the One I trust. 

Each valley, every dark night, the excruciating climbs, draw me into relationship with Him, a place where I know His love and faithfulness. I am made stronger. Without His strength in me I would be like a blade of grass that has no spine and cannot stand.

It is you, O' God, who gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Praising Him today in my weakness.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Light in the Darkness

Yesterday was Sunday and as on most Sundays I was in church. Much of the sermon was about God's healing hand. He heals hearts, minds and bodies. At the end of the service those who needed prayer were encouraged to go forward so they could be prayed for.

Oh, how I longed for healing.

There was a line so I remained in my seat. With tears in his eyes, my dear son-in-law held out his hand to me. Then he led me up front.

Oh, how I longed for healing.

I'm weary of the prison of my wounded body. While I waited I prayed. A nice gentleman anointed me with oil, laid his hands on me and together we sought God's healing. I knew He could heal me. But yesterday was not the day.

I was disappointed but not disillusioned. God is good all the time. He works in me and through me, even though I am physically weak. But . . .

Oh, how I longed for healing.

I hoped yesterday would be the day. And I admit I'm a little sad today. But God is good all the time and when I turned to my devotions this morning He had a treasure waiting for me. I found this in reference to an imprisoned apostle Paul. What precious messages of light came from the dark shadows of his captivity.

Thank you, Lord, for these precious words. I am reminded once more that there is beauty in suffering. With your hand upon me you have carried me through the years. You continue to work in me and through me. I trust you.

I will continue to seek God's healing touch, but above all I long for His will.

If you are suffering, He knows. Trust Him to bring light into the dark places.

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie