Thursday, December 03, 2009

Tips For Triumphant Living -- Grieve

Living triumphantly and grieving may seem like an odd partnership, but one cannot happen without the other.

Let's be honest, life is filled with heartaches and disappointments that leave us wounded. Mourning is part of the cure. We grieve the death of a loved one, or let loose of a dream, or face the loss of health or innocence. I've had my share of grief, and I've discovered if I don't allow myself to sorrow the ache hangs like a stone around my neck.

There are steps to grieving that we need to walk through. However, before we can begin we must give ourselves permission to mourn, even the things we think shouldn't be a big deal.

Today is one of those days. I'm grieving the loss of a dream. Nearly three years ago, my daughter and her family moved into our home. We dreamed of spending years together here on our mountaintop. A lot has happened since that time. And today, my daughter who is now a single mother is moving. My mind and heart are filled with images of the early days--the family working together, preparing the garden patch, designing and building an additional home, planning for our future. Those were good days.

Life doesn't always turn out the way we hope. When my family and I set out on this adventure God knew about today. And He knows about tomorrow.

Although my daughter and grandchildren aren't moving far away I'm sad and teary. There have been so many precious gifts to living side by side--early morning coffee chats with my daughter, grandchildren stopping in for an afternoon snack or a goodnight kiss and hug. Today, all that will change and as the boxes march out of the house next door they mark the end of a dream.

I'm certain God has a new plan for me and for my family. I'm confident that we'll be fine. Life will be good. But today and maybe tomorrow I will grieve. And even though it may seem silly, it's okay.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven."

Don't feel you must always be strong and reasonable. Sometimes crying is good and called for. And there are times when you need to rage against life. Do it and then . . . move forward and begin again. God will walk with you.

Grace and peace to you from God.



  1. Anonymous8:12 PM

    Lovely, hard, true reflections. The feelings WILL have their way--now or later and for sure sometime in between! I must admit I don't like the process much--this acceptance of what must be grieved. But I sure do love being drawn to my knees closer to God as I need Him more than ever during those times, so... Am going to a galpal's memorial service Sat. and am soooo happy for her--and soooo sad for us as she's not here. After 30 years I feel like a selfish young brat and do not want her gone-period. But it will ease, and the tears will keep flowing for awhile--along with the precious ahhhhhhs 'n smiles knowing she's with Jesus. Wow. loveyou--patti iverson

  2. Patti, thank you so much for sharing--beautifully said. I'm crying. And so sorry for the loss of your friend.

    Love you,


  3. Once a mum always a mum..
    I know how you feel...and I felt like crying with you. The empty nest is hard even if they do live close by, its not the same. My own mother is almost 92 and frets over my 73 yr old brother. Listening to her crying about him over the phone to me has made me realise, we never stop those nurturing instincts..
    Blessed are they that mourn (grieve,) for they shall be comforted..... Oh to be a bird and not to worry.

  4. So true, Crystal. I don't think it's possible to truly resign from motherhood. It will always be part of us. I think God meant it to be that way--we need each other.

    Thank you so much for your heartening words. They are encouraging. And yes, I think it might be nice to be a bird. :-)

    Blessings to you,