Yesterday, I was in tears and at the end of myself. I asked God, "Is this really what you planned for me? I don't think I can do it anymore."
I wanted out. I was tired of pain and disability. It was just too hard, and it shut me out of so many of the things I love. I wanted a regular life. I wanted the life I had before a log truck barreled around a corner and hit my van.
I've walked with God for a very long time, and I knew the fear and frustration and weariness would pass. God holds me in His mighty hand. I pulled myself together and asked Him for strength, comfort and a will that molds itself to His. I realized there were a lot of "I's" in my rant. And I understood that life isn't all about me . . . not entirely, anyway. And yet, my life is mine to live out.
God uses all sorts of circumstances and people to speak to our hearts. Today he used a kind and a wise woman to help give me perspective. She said that when life becomes too difficult for her she considers the stories she loves to read--they are always about people who have faced adversity and either overcome it or found peace within it. She said that we each are living out our own stories. And as with those we love to read the adversities make our stories richer and more meaningful.
Her words have stayed with me. And though I may not like my personal story it is made up of the things I love in the books I read as well as the ones I write. I have experienced the glory of life as well as its darkness. Many days I feel as if I'm climbing a mountain called pain to reach the summit where I can see across miles of terrain and far beyond the moment. And the God of the universe, my heavenly Father who loves me, is The One who carries me to the top of that mountain. It is because of Him that I can travel this path, one He has allowed, one with a purpose. It is my story to live out. And I pray it will leave a lasting impression of goodness and grace. I know it has a happy ending.
Trust God with your personal story.
Grace and peace to you from God,
Bonnie
Hi, Dear Bonnie, I always read your Blogs because it is so apparent you desire to do God's will.When I met you,Ilived on the North Umpqua River. My marriage was awful, we were behind in rent, etc. I told God, "You can take this Christian life and shove it. It is just too hard." As always, God held onto me and I am still holding onto Jesus Christ. Hangth thou in there dear beloved daughter of God. Roberta
ReplyDeleteRoberta, through all the years, you have been a wonderful friend. I am so thankful you are holding onto Christ.
ReplyDeleteMany times, your life has uplifted mine.
Bless you.
So encouraging Bonnie. I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lori. You are an encouragement to me. I'm so glad God allowed our paths to cross.
ReplyDeleteAnd . . . I can't wait to read your book. Remind me -- when does it release?
I don't know what is is Bonnie, maybe perhaps that we are in the end times? But many are becoming disillusioned and becoming unwell in body. soul and spirit.I believe I need to read that book again, Hinds Feet in High Places."
ReplyDeleteI love the photo header of you here on this Blog. You look so beautiful, so serene.. God loves you and will always be His precious child.