Yesterday while driving to church I felt giddy. I was so happy to be going. What a privilege to be free to worship with other believers! I thought about how beautiful worship would be and how the pastor's sermon would instruct and uplift. It was going to be a good day!
I was't disappointed. The service was a beautiful beginning to a new week. One of the things the pastor said that stayed with me was that part of loving one another is living a life of you first rather than me first. It seemed simple enough . . . that is until we actually have to do it.
First thing this morning I asked my husband about his day and the one thing I really wanted done wasn't on his list. I made it clear that I didn't agree with his priorities. No yelling or stomping, but he had no doubt that I was disappointed.
I wanted my way.
Our morning time did not end well and he went on his way. I was left feeling disappointed in him, but more so in myself. And when I went to God's Word I could see how defiant I'd been, not just to my husband but to God. I was definitely NOT practicing the you first life style that I'd been extolling the day before. Instead, I was demanding my way.
Ephesians 5:1 says this, "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
I was definitely not living out a love like Christ's, even though it is my desire to do so.
While sitting in church listening to a sermon it all seems so simple. But the follow through is where I have trouble. I'm disappointed in me. My life is still so much about what I want. After all these years of studying God's Word, doing my best to follow the Lord and living out my faith I still fall so short. Even so, I don't think God wants me to sit here and condemn myself, that's not His way. However, He does want me to grow and change.
I asked God's forgiveness and then my husband's. Both graciously accepted my apology. A merciful God and a merciful husband. Thank you, Lord.
I have so much to learn about living out my faith. It's the living it that makes a difference in our world. If we refuse to live what God teaches, then all the talk means nothing. We can talk all day without really saying anything. It's what people see in us that makes a difference.
We all have weaknesses. Ask God to show you yours and give that frailty to Him. I think He sometimes uses our weaknesses more profoundly than our strengths.
Grace and peace to you from God,
Bonnie
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