imperfect?

This morning when I reached for a pair of earrings I wondered what is was that I liked about them. They were purposely made imperfect. The round spheres are not truly round. That's okay with me. I like things that are "flawed".

Imperfection surrounds me. Some of it is done purposely. For instance, I don't like items lined up in a perfect row. I want my treasures displayed in a random pattern. When my granddaughter sometimes cleans my house I always find that she's lined everything up "perfectly". I follow behind and place the items the way they were. I almost never hang paintings on the wall in a row - they go up in a random pattern. And I prefer writing that is a bit flawed. I enjoy the flavor and texture of a story more than a perfectly constructed sentence.

Does this mean I'm flawed? I certainly am. But none of us are "perfect".

I've always been the one to stand up for the underdog. I even cheer for the football team that is supposed to lose.

What about this incredible creature? The way it's put together doesn't seem to make sense. Why the long neck and long legs? Of course there is a reason, and in spite of its gangly appearance it is a gorgeous, powerful animal. God knew what he was doing when he created it.




The earrings in the photo above are one of my favorite pairs, but I never receive compliments when I wear them. Perhaps that means I'm the only one who likes them. But that's okay. I believe we sometimes need to embrace imperfections. I'm not saying we ought to go out and purposely cause destruction or trouble. And certainly shouldn't purposely sin against God. But we are each created as individuals. We're not cut out by a cookie cutter. God created us perfectly imperfect. And He loves His creation. 

Let's embrace who we are. We were sculpted by the Hands of our Creator to be an individual with our own voice and our own way of seeing the world. 

If He loves us as we are, maybe we can love ourselves and others just as they are.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

News From Deer Creek

On March fifteenth I had a successful launch for my most recent book, One Hundred Valleys. Though I must admit Covid-19 did complicate things a bit. Still, I was able to get the word out and heard back from many of you. It's loyal readers and followers who keep us writers going. Thank you.

The fun's not over yet. I will be posting a newsletter in a few days with news and updates. Make sure to sign up for my Table Talk newsletter so you won't miss out on what's up. You can find the button on my home page of this website at https://www.bonnieleon.com.

I'm celebrating summer with a GIVEAWAY! So, check it out. News is coming your way soon.

If you read the book One Hundred Valleys, you'll know this character. She is the beloved Margaret Clark. She really is a lovely person and a good cook. 

Margret owns the Deer Creek Cafe and there's always something delicious cooking in the kitchen. She makes especially good pies. I thought you might like to try her apple pie, it's a favorite at the cafe. I've included it below so you can give it a try. If you do, I'd love to hear from you and know how it turned out.

Margaret's tasty Apple Pie

Crust:    2 cups Flour

              1 teaspoon salt

              2 tablespoons powdered sugar

Cut in:  2/3 cups Lard (shortening)

             2/3 cup water – sprinkle it over the dry ingredients and work into the dough.

Do not overwork the dough or you will end up with a tough crust.

Divide the dough in half. Gently work both halves into a round shape. Sprinkle flour on a kitchen counter and, using a rolling pin, roll out to approximately a 10 inch circle. Drape dough crust in a 9” pie pan and let it set while you prepare the apple filling.

Filling:   6 – 7 crisp, flavorful apples, peeled, halved and sliced thinly.

      3/4 cup sugar

      1 tsp. cinnamon

      ¼ tsp. nutmeg (optional)

      ¼ cup flour or 3 Tablespoons corn starch.

Mix the filling in a large bowl. If desired for more tender apples, let it set overnight on the counter (the night before you prepare your crust). Pour filling into the bottom crust.

Place the 2nd portion of pie dough over the top of the filling and press down gently until it touches the apple mixture. Fold the dough around the edges (the top crust over the bottom crust), so it is well sealed, then crimp between your fingers all the way around. Use a fork to poke several vent holes. You can whip egg white and use a pastry brush to wash it over the crust if desired.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place pie on a lower rack in the oven and bake for 45 minutes. To ensure the bottom crust is well done you may want to add an additional 15 minutes baking time, but do not overcook the top crust.

Enjoy.


There's still a lot going on in Deer Creek. I'm working on a sequel to One Hundred Valleys. There are lots of adventures to come. 

I pray you are doing well. 

A Word from the Lord.

"I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." 

Isaiah 41:13

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

A Mile In Your Shoes

The last four months I have felt as if I were living within a category 5 hurricane. Covid-19 struck and spread across our world locking people in their homes. Hundreds of thousands have died. George Floyd was murdered by a police officer, and we watched his agonizing death on television news. Outraged Americans joined together in protest, united. And then militant groups hijacked a heartfelt and significant movement. In the midst of looting, destruction, more murders and beatings, George Floyd's death was diminished.

I've posted my thoughts about all of this on my Facebook page but today I want to bring our focus back to one another. We are all related, one family - humankind. 

When I was young and sometimes made judgments about others my mother was always quick to correct me. She would say that I couldn't truly understand what was going on inside another person's heart. She would add, "You have not walked a mile in their shoes." How right she was. She knew and understood the pain of discrimination. She'd grown up poor and native in a place that saw her as less valuable than others. And even as an adult she could be brought to tears by the memories.

You may not know what it is like to live as a Native Alaskan. You may not know what it is like to be told that one day you will be blind. You  may not know how difficult it is to live as a fat person in a world that detests and judges fat people. (I have stories) And you may know the pain of losing a young and vibrant father when you are only twenty-three. We don't share all the same experiences, so how can we know?

I do not know what it is like to be Black in America. And there are thousands of other experiences I can't fully understand.

However, we all know what fear is like. We know pain. We know sorrow. We know rejection. And because we know we can empathize ... if we choose to. We can listen and have open minds. God tells us to love one another ... all others.

This storm we find ourselves in can destroy our world as we know it. But we don't have to let it. We can place our hurts and disappointments and our fears in God's hands. And most of all we can hand over our hate. The enemy loves hate, and he will use it to destroy us if we let him.

As the weeks have passed a song has been playing through my mind. It's one we all know. And I post it here to remind us of its simple but profound truth.

"Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world."

In these difficult days let's sing that song and pray that God will help us see one another through His eyes of love.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Even So ... Praise Him

In these sorrowful days it often feels as if I, us, we Believers are being oppressed. The evil one slinks through our court system and maligns our government even at the highest levels. Right is now wrong and wrong is now right. It's painful to witness the downslide of our values and of our country. 

And when I thought things couldn't be darker, people who have been suffering with Covid-19 watched as their government leaders and fellow citizens politicized the disease, even its treatments. And I had to ask, why? I have no clear answer. 

I've been distressed over the state of our world because of Covid-19 ... and now demonstrations and rioting is in our streets. The demonstrations began in unity and with good intent. A terrible wrong had been done to one of our citizens. But as is often the case there are those who will take advantage of what they see as an opportunity. 

I have been sick at heart as I watch the destruction of our cities. And the foolish self-centered volleys of flaming darts that our leaders cast back and forth. The malevolence only deepens. 

Aren't we better than this?

We can be.

In my daily reading I landed on Psalm 43, which feels perfect for this time. I'd like to share these comforting words with you. I've replaced all the personal references to a collective term. It says this,

O God, take up our cause! Defend us against these ungodly people. Rescue us from these unjust liars. For you are God, our only safe haven. Why have you tossed us aside? Why must we wander around in darkness oppressed by our enemies? Send out your light and your truth; let them guide us. Let them lead us to your holy mountain, to the place where you live. There we will go to the altar of God, to God - the source of all our joy. We will praise you with our harp O God, our God! Why are we discouraged? Why so sad? We will put our hope in God! We will praise him again - our Savior and our God!

We are not alone in this evil world. We have the almighty God with us. Even in the midst of heartache and sorrow we can be comforted and know joy. God's Word tells us we will have tribulation, that there will be dark days, but we are not to be disheartened. We can walk in the light of the Lord.

Keep praying. Keep rejoicing. The Great I Am sees it all. And He loves you.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Corona Tweny?

How many of you have heard of the Corona Twenty? I've heard a lot of people lamenting over the weight they've gained since hunkering down to "stay safe". The term became known as the Corona Twenty.

So, why would someone decide to go on a diet in the midst of one of the most stressful periods of history this American has experienced? Not sure. Maybe it is about control. Everything feels out of control these days, but I can control what I put in my  mouth.

Those of you who have followed me through the years have likely seen that I struggle with my weight. It's been a long-time issue, made worse after I had an accident back in 1991 that was followed by disability and a more sedentary lifestyle. 

Oh, how I miss being active. I was one of those who loved to work outdoors. And to stay busy. With all my hurting parts it's just not fun or even doable these days. The pounds kept adding up. and then one day I said, "No More! I want a life!"

I'm back to walking. I don't walk far, usually only twenty to thirty minutes, but I do it every day. And now with the warmer weather I can add swimming, which will be easier on my body.

I've tried a lot of weight loss plans through the years, some with moderate success. This is not an ad for any one program. I'm just trying something new and so far it's helping. I'm on the Noom program, where the bottom line is mostly about sensible, healthy eating while watching intake and taking a closer look at why we eat what we eat. So far I'm down twelve pounds. And that's good, but I have a long way to go.

My weight loss has been slow, but the really cool thing I've been noticing is I'm beginning to change my mind (gradually) about food. I'm feeling less addicted and more inclined to care about what food accomplishes for me. And though some days I feel discouraged, I'm not inclined to give up ... and I've been at this for nine weeks. In recent years I haven't hung on this long without feeling outdone by my stubborn metabolism. 

One of the interesting aspects of the Noom plan is the idea of overcoming a habit, fear or something that has defeated you in the past by exposing yourself to it and overcoming. For instance I HATE WEIGHING MYSELF! Ugh. Really hate it. On the Noom plan I weigh every day. I still don't like it but it doesn't have the power it once did and I see a day when I'm not bothered about it at all. A coming attraction. :-) One other hint about overcoming that has been helpful is walking the store aisles that tempts me most ... and not giving in to the temptation. It is empowering. I know that to those of you who don't struggle with weight this may sound weird, but maybe you can apply it to something you DO struggle with. I'd love to hear your feedback on that.

I will keep you updated on my progress and let you know some of the new stuff I'm learning. And I hope that one day I will have a before and after photo to share with you.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Tea & Books

I wanted to get this post up right away. WhiteFire Publishing along with Roseanna White is hosting an online tea party and book discussion on Saturday, June 7th. 

You're invited!

This is something new for me, but it sounds like a lot of fun. I'll be able to see you and you'll be able to see me while we talk about books, life and my new novel, One Hundred Valleys. 

I've posted the link below so you can get all the details. 

I hope to see you there.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie


Summer #TeaPartyBookClub reservations are open! Join me and

Author Bonnie Leon

in June, Author SE Clancy in July for a COFFEE party, or come chat Barclay with me in August! roseannamwhite.com/tea-party-book-club/

A Christian Writer's World ~~ Characters who grip your heart: ONE HUNDRED VALLEYS - Bonnie Leon - One Free Book

A Christian Writer's World ~~ Characters who grip your heart: ONE HUNDRED VALLEYS - Bonnie Leon - One Free Book: Welcome back, Bonnie. As an author, I know it takes a lot of people to birth each book. Who were the people involved in the birthing of this...

Grazing

While chatting with a friend of mine recently I mentioned that I'd become a grazer. Actually grazing isn't something new for me. I've been grazing through my kitchen for years. 

Hah! Actually, not funny.

I never thought of grazing in the context of my time with the Lord. During this quieter, though stressful era of Covid-19, I've been grazing with God. We've been hanging out together a lot.

Many times I've heard people say they are unable to find time to spend with God. Their lives are hectic and too busy. Like them, I've told myself that even though I know it's not all together true. There is always time for what we value most.

I still relish deep study, the meat and potatoes of my spiritual walk. However, sometimes long periods of study feel like a hurdle, and I'm convinced I don't have the time or stamina so I don't try. On those kinds of days it's time to find another tactic. 

During these Covid days I'm often distracted - therefore the grazing, taking smaller bites of time with The Father. And just as sheep graze in the fields with a shepherd watching over them, I find the Lord always present, close to me and ready for a chat.

He is with me during my daily devotional time and while I watch podcasts created by those who share their spiritual insights. I even find the Lord in notes sent to me by friends. He responds to my whispered prayers. He accompanies me on my strolls through my timbered neighborhood. And He always waits for me in His Word. He is never not with me.

I am comforted by the words in Psalm 139 that say, "I can never escape from your spirit! I can never get away from your presence!"

There are so many ways to find time for God. In the very beginning of time man and woman walked with God and talked with God in the garden. What a blessed time that must have been. 

Though we live in a sin-stained world God still wants to spend time with us. He doesn't say we must cut out an hour or more from each day to study and pray, but He does say we are to seek Him and spend time with Him. We can do that. 

Like a shepherd who watches over his sheep God is always watching over us and when we reach out, there He will be. And if we wander off we can be assured He will find us.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

All For Jesus

It's not always easy to keep my focus where it belongs - on Jesus. It's especially difficult to do when I have a new book releasing. There is so much pressure to get it "out there" and I always suffer with nerves, worrying about whether people will like the book ... or not. It's hard not to be watchful about sales and concerned with the kind of reviews that come in. You would think I'd be over that by now. I've been writing and publishing books for a quarter of a century.

A book release should be a celebration, not a time to worry about whether I got it right or I didn't. There's no time for that now. And I shouldn't be asking myself - Will the book fail? And if so does that mean I'm a failure?

Those kinds of thoughts are about me and what I need. That's not where my attention belongs. I need to be all about Jesus.

I should be rejoicing in what God has done. When I thought there would be no more novels written by me, He carried me through another book! That's amazing! I couldn't have done it on my own. 

It is God who helped me find my story. It may not be the story for everyone, but no tale is. I thank God for giving it to me. And I thank Him for what He will do with it.

All I need be concerned with is, did I do what God asked of me? Did I work hard? Did I do my best?

When I can answer YES worries fade away. I'm free to rejoice in the beauty of being an instrument of God and playing just the right notes for just the right people.

We are all God's instruments. And as humans we have many frailties and insecurities. Whether we are asking if we've failed our children in some way or we don't measure up to expectations as a teacher, a musician, a doctor, a craftsman ... or any number of other talents or occupations we must remember that we can only do our best and trust God with the results. We'll never reach perfection. Only Christ is perfect. And all we do is for Him.

It's All For Him.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

God's Mighty Hand

I pray this day holds joy for you. Many of us are sheltering in our homes, cut off from family and friends so we chat with loved ones on Facebook. We're even joining our church families on line. On occasion I have had reason to complain about social media, but in these difficult days I am grateful we have it.

This morning, my church live-streamed our Palm Sunday service. The church family was able to worship together, even take communion together. It was kind of miraculous for someone like me who doesn't comprehend how the internet works.

Huddled together on the sofa, Greg and I watched the service on my phone and I kind of stepped back and looked at us. There we were together, one in Christ, savoring God's Word. That moment was not by chance or by our own might, but by God's mighty hand. There was a time that such a moment could not have been imagined.

It's been nearly forty-nine years since I walked down the aisle of my family church. It was my wedding day, but I wasn't certain I even wanted to get married. As I walked toward the front of the sanctuary, wearing my white gown, my quaking hands holding a bouquet and my groom waiting for me, I thought, Well, if it doesn't work out, I can always get a divorce. It is a hard thing to imagine that I possessed so little commitment over such a momentous step in life.

Our first four years of marriage were bad, ugly in fact. In our fourth year, we separated and were headed to divorce court. I was devastated. I loved Greg, though at the time I didn't like him very much. And he didn't love me at all. He had stated that clearly. 

During the early weeks of our seven month separation, a friend of mine introduced me to Jesus Christ. I feigned disinterest, but in my heart I felt as if I were drowning in hopelessness and despair, and I saw Christ as my lifeline. I realized He was my only hope and I placed my life in His hands. 

After that I prayed - for Greg and for our marriage. A strange thing happend. Greg started showing up at my door. Later he would tell me that he'd leave his house heading "somewhere" and end up at my place. He had no idea why. 

After several weeks of a new friendship between Greg and I, he asked me if I would come home and give our marriage another try. I could barely believe what I was hearing. He had stated unequivocally that he did not love me and he would never love me. Could I believe his new change of heart? 

I was afraid. Greg was not a believer. What if I returned to him and his new promises were only temporary. I couldn't go through that heartache again. I prayed fervently and God told me that I didn't need to trust Greg, I needed to trust Him. And he held Greg and I and our marriage in His hands. Still fearful, but trusting I returned home. 

We'd been reunited only two months when Greg found the Lord and placed his eternal salvation in Christ. From that time until now, we have served the Lord together. We raised a family, worked hard, loved one another and have loved God. Has it been a perfect reunion? No. Not even close. We're just people, but we love and admire one another. 

We are together only because Jesus Christ is at the center of our marriage. He is the one who reached down with His might hand and rescued us. There is no other way for two stubborn, hard-headed people like us to remain united. 

There was a lot to forgive all those years ago. An impossible task for two people such as us, but not impossible for God. So as I looked at my husband on the sofa beside me this morning, my heart was filled with gratitude and wonder at how God had intervened in our mess of a life, brought us back to each other, and then held us together.

We've seen many miracles through the years, but the one most precious to me is the one that involved God's love, our broken hearts, and God's beautiful gift of mercy.

I pray you will all see the wonder of God in your midst today. He loves us in a way that is incomprehensible. Even though we do not deserve it, His love never wavers.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

A Love Letter

While I was chatting with my publisher a few weeks ago, I referred to my new book as a love letter to my readers. I didn't think before I spoke - the words just popped out. David White, who has been working with me, asked what I meant by that?

I had to think for a few moments because I wasn't sure. It was more of a feeling. 

As is often the case feelings come from a very real place in our soul. There was something to what I had said. One Hundred Valleys is a love letter to readers for a couple of reasons. First, because I owed my readers a new historical. Through my career, I've written primarily historical novels, but a few years ago I took a slight turn. I reworked three of my early books and wrote two contemporaries. I decided that my dedicated followers had waited long enough for a new historical novel. It was time to think about my core group of readers. Their support and loyalty is one of the reason I'm still writing. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all. And for that reason, One Hundred Valleys is for you.

And something else in the book that reminds me it is a love letter. The character Margaret, who is a mentor and friend to Emmalin, says this while the two talk about the many hardships and even tragedies that have befallen Emmalin. 

Margaret says, "God didn't promise to protect us from all harm, but he did promise to walk with us as we struggle in the hard times and to help lead us through life. When it feels the darkest is when His light shines its brightest. And He uses every bit of the good and bad to mold us into people who will honor Him."

These words, though spoken by a character in a book, have spoken to me through the years. And they've helped me to trust and to be grateful even while struggling through the hardest times.

These are dark days in our world. The multitudes live in fear and uncertainty, wondering what will become of their livelihoods. Will they even lose their life? And what will become of their loved ones? Will they be safe? Sometimes all I have to do is think about my precious family and what they are facing and tears come. My son and his family live in France and I'm afraid for them. And then the Lord reminds me who He is. 

When I write I always pray that I will  honor God in my work and that the words on the page will be more than just words, but that they will breathe life into a readers darkest places ... where they will teach, uplift and encourage those who travel through a world of uncertainty. And sometimes that reader is me. I have to chuckle because God is a marvelous Father.

Today and in the weeks to come, I encourage you to remember who our Father is. He is the creator of all the earth, the creator of the heavens. He loves us and scripture states clearly that he knows and has experienced our pain. He hasn't forgotten us. He knows the beginning and the end. And His love letter to us is His Holy Word.

If your Bible has been collecting dust on a shelf, pick up and open the pages. Ask God where you should begin. I suggest the book of John. Read it, take The Father's truth into your soul. He offers love and hope to our hurting world.

I've heard many times that the Lord God will not give us more than we can handle. But of course life dumps hardships on us that are too difficult to manage. That is when we lift our burdens up to The Father and he carries them for us. He will encourage and repair broken hearts. Trust Him. He is in this with us.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Blooming with Books: Guest Post from Author Bonnie Leon with Book Spotl...

Blooming with Books: Guest Post from Author Bonnie Leon with Book Spotl...: Today Blooming with Books is hosting author Bonnie Leon. Enjoy this guest post from her: Do you ever feel as if you can’t do one mor...

My Book Baby

In early 2017 I discovered I had an eye condition, MacTel 2, that would gradually steal my central vision. It took a while for the doctor's diagnosis to set in. When it did I realized the day was coming when I would no longer be able to see. That was a scary  moment. I struggled with fear and with the what if's of my life. Often, I was close to tears, wondering what I would do when I could no longer see. What did my future hold for me?

After much prayer and soul searching I decided I needed to move on from writing and in May 2017 I announced my retirement. As I unsuccessfully tried to release my love of story-telling, God spoke to me. "Not yet," he said. "Maybe not ever."

Really? But how could I write if I couldn't see? I set out to find the answer and discovered it was possible. And then I asked myself, "What if I can still see in five years?" Hmm. The answer - I might have written several more books. So, why was I in such a hurry to retire? 

Fear should never be the voice we listen to when making such decisions.

I went back to work.

With renewed enthusiasm I dove into a new historical romance that takes place in my part of the world, Southern Oregon. With poor eyesight it was more difficult to work, but not impossible. And after many months I'd written a new story.

I am so glad I didn't give up because today I am here announcing the birth of my book baby, One Hundred Valleys. 

I am still seeing ... not so well, but enough. Some of the things I feared have come to pass ... like not being able to drive, depending on others more, struggling to read. Sometimes grocery shopping can get interesting. But I'm  managing. And as much as I wish I weren't dealing with this inconvenience, I accept God's plan for my life. There is no better place to be than in the midst of His will.

Sometimes I complain and I am not fearless, but I have much to be thankful for. I still see the beauty in the world around me. I have many friends and family who love me and have come alongside to help. I have a wonderful husband who does all he can to make my life easier.

AND I HAVE A NEW BOOK! 

IT RELEASES TOMORROW, MARCH 15, 2020.

When I decided to return to writing, the words from a movie called Secretariat inspired me. Penny Chenery Tweedy stands up to people who tell her to sell Secretariat, thinking her foolish to keep the horse. She says, her father's legacy to her is not about money, then goes on to say, "You must have the will to win if you can and live with it if you can't. It's about life being ahead of you and you run at it because you never know how far you can go unless you run."

I don't know how far I can go, but I'm running and will keep on as long as I am able.

I am already in the midst of a new book. I hope you will give my novel, One Hundred Valleys  a try. And I pray it will be a blessing to you.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie  

You can order One Hundred Valleys at ...

https://amzn.to/2Qhyi2O
http://bit.ly/2v4JFng

The Crushing Times

I opened my devotional this morning and when I began reading  I immediately knew I must share these thoughts with you. In these difficult times many of us likely need to hear this message. What follows is is from the book Embraced by Lysa TerKeust.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

    No one wants to have their heart crushed. But being wounded in deep places happens. Sometimes it just seems to be part of the rhythm of life.
    And when these hard times come we feel it all so very deeply. And we wonder if others have these hard, hard moments. After all, we don't snap pictures of the crushing times and post them on Instagram.
    We just wonder if we have what it takes to survive ...
    when the doctor calls and says he needs tot  talk to me in person about the test results.
    ... when the teacher sends one of "those" emails about my child.
    ... when I feel so utterly incapable and unable and afraid.
    I suspect you know the tear-filled place from which I speak.
    So, let's journey to the olive tree and learn.
    To get to the place I want to take you, we must cross the Kidron Valley in Israel.
    John 18:1-2 tells us, "When he had finished praying, Jesus left with his disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side there was a garden, and he and his disciples went into it. Now Judas who betrayed him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples."
    Jesus often met in the shadow and shade of the olive tree in the garden.
    This garden is the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus, just before his arrest, said to Peter, James and John, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Mark 14:34).
    Jesus knew the crushing-heart feeling. He felt it. He wrestled with it. He carried it.
    And I don't think it was a coincidence that the olive tree was there in this moment of deep sorrow for Jesus.
    The olive tree is such a picture of why our hearts must go through the crushing times.

    The crushing times are necessary times.

    First, in order to be fruitful the olive tree has to have both the east wind and the west wind. The east wind is the dry hot wind from the desert. This wind is so harsh that it can blow over green grass and make it completely wither in one day. 
    The west wind, on the other hand, comes from the Mediterranean. It brings rain and life. 
    Thee olive tree needs both of these winds to produce fruit - and so do we. We need both winds of hardship and relief to sweep across our lives if we are to be truly fruitful.

    The crushing times are processing times.

    Another thing to consider about the olive tree is how naturally bitter the olive is and what it must go through to be useful. If you were to pick an olive from the tree and try to eat it, its bitterness would make you sick.
    For the olive to be edible, it has to go through a lengthy process that includes:
    washing,
    breaking,
    soaking,
    sometimes salting,
    and waiting some more.

    It is a lengthy process to be cured of bitterness and prepared for usefulness. If we are to escape the natural bitterness of the human heart, we have to go through a long process as well ... the process of being cured.

    The crushing times are preservation times.

    The best way to preserve the olive for the long run is to crush it in order to extract the oil. The same is true for us. The Biblical way to be preserved is to be pressed. And being pressed can certainly feel like being crushed. 
    But what about 2 Corinthians 4:8, where it says we are "pressed ... but not crushed"? Let's read verses eight and nine in the King James version:
    "We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed."
    This was one of the biggest "aha" moments for me standing in the shadow of the olive tree: crushing isn't the olive's end.
    Crushing is the way of preservation for the olive. It's also the way to get what's most valuable, the oil, out of the olive. Keeping this perspective is how we can be troubled on every side yet not distressed ... pressed to the point of being crushed but not crushed and destroyed.
    I need to revisit these truths often:
    When the sorrowful winds of the east blow I forgot they are necessary.
    When I'm being processed, I forget it's for the sake of ridding me of bitterness. 
    When I'm being crushed, I forget it's for the sake of my preservation.
    I forget all these things so easily. I wrestle and cry and honestly want to resist every bit of this. Oh, how I forget. 
    Maybe God knew we all would forget.
    And so, he created the olive tree." 


Lysa's words are heartening to me. I pray you will be encouraged.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie
    

Taking Risks

In my upcoming book, One Hundred Valleys, my heroine has never been a risk-taker, but when she is hit by an unexpected loss and the discovery of a father she didn't know existed, she takes a huge risk, one that puts her life in jeopardy.

I've always wanted to be the type of person who is not afraid to take risks. Through the years I've taken many, but sometimes it feels like I'm holding back. Maybe that's not a bad a thing. I want to be brave but I don't want to be foolish.

In recent months I've had a couple of situations that required me to take a risk. One had a good result and the other not so good. 

In January my husband and I set out for a winter vacation in Tucson, Arizona. Our son and his family traveled from France to meet us there. It was a glorious vacation. The Arizona weather was gorgeous, and the desert vistas were stunning.

We all stayed in a very nice and spacious condo. While we were there we sampled local cuisine, explored the natural beauty of the region and wandered through state parks. The time with our son and his family was special and fun. So good in fact, that we are already planning another vacation together.

So, what was the risk you might wonder. Traveling is something I love to do, but it is always a risk because of my physical disabilities and chronic pain. I never know how bad it might get. Travel is hard on me. During our vacation to Arizona my pain did make the trip more challenging, but it didn't ruin my good time. I'm so thankful I went.

More recently, just a week ago. I decided that attending a writers conference was worth the risk. I love getting together with other writers. To make it to the conference meant a 2 1/2 hour drive each way. Already hurting from the journey, the seating at the conference turned out to be the undoing of my day. Sadly, I had to leave early and headed home to the comfort of my bed and heating pad. No amount of pain medication would have gotten me through the day.

I was hugely disappointed and felt in some way that I had failed. Often in these situations the enemy swoops in with discouragement and accusation. I moped around for a day and a half, feeling as if I'd never get to take part in activities that I love.

That was a lie! And I'm not going to listen to it.

I can look at this experience as a glass half full or half empty. 

I choose half full. I did get to see many of my writing friends. I received and gave lots of hugs, and managed to fit in a few friendly conversations. I also got to listen to excellent presentations by speaker and writer Sarah Sundin. 

Some of you will likely have difficulty relating to the type of risks I face. That's okay. I want you to think about some things you see as risks in your life. How do you want to face them?

As for me - I am not going to give up. I will keep pushing forward. I will continue to take risks. 

How about you?

It's a beautiful thing to know that God will never abandon us. He will walk the journey of life with us. And when we face a scary challenge he will give us courage.


Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

When the blush is off the rose.

Yesterday would have been my mother's 95th birthday. It's hard to believe that on the 13th of next month she will have been gone two years. It seems like yesterday that we were experiencing life together, sharing memories, taking meandering drives, and watching classic movies. Shopping trips were a challenge, but fun. 

While moving Mom to Ashley Manor, her last home, I found a rose pressed between the pages of her Bible. It was part of a bouquet she'd received on her 90th birthday. The blush was off the rose, only a shadow of its former beauty remained. I held it to my nose, and the fragrance still lingered. Memories of Mom's birthday and whispers of the past swept in like an ocean wave.

I wish I still had that rose. Yes, it was just a flower, but it stood for so much more. In her final days, Mom was like that rose ... the blush was definitely off, but she was still lovely - the essence of who she was seemed to grow more beautiful with each passing day. 

I look back through the years and as my mind flits through her life I am reminded of how she continued to bloom. She wasn't one of those loud, vibrant flowers, she was more subtle, quietly changing and maturing, the fragrance of her inner spirit growing sweeter with the passage of time.

When Mom was entering her 70's I remember her saying more than once, "I look in a mirror and wonder where that old woman came from." She'd chuckle, but I wondered what that would be like. Now I know. I am the one looking in a mirror and wondering where the old woman looking back at me came from. I admit that I don't like the image, but when I think of my mother and the rose pressed between the pages of her Bible I am reminded that a transformation is happening and yet, the essence of who I am is still vibrant and blooming.

It takes years to mature. Some people never have the privilege of experiencing a long life and so as I approach my 68th birthday I know I am blessed to see an old woman in my mirror. I pray the fragrance of who I am will be all about the Lord and His love for me. I am blooming still, only because of Him. 

As each day passes may I remain thankful. Even though my body grows old may my heart become more tender and my spirit more fragrant.

Thank you, Mom, for being a living example of graciousness and beauty.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Merciful God

In early June of this year an inner clock was set off in my head and in my heart, as it has been for the last two summers. In June of 2017 I got a call from my sister and she told me she had been diagnosed with metastatic renal cell carcinoma. She said, "Do not look it up online." But of course I did. The prognosis was bad, but I hoped for better.

And then the clock ticked on into November, as we approached the holiday season. I couldn't push aside the memories of my sister's battle - excruciating days for Myrn and all who loved her. 

And now as we approach December 22 the day is coming - the anniversary of my sister's death. And I can't help but think, If only she were still here.

I cry easily these days. She is close to me all the time, but not close enough ... for a chat, shared prayers, or a hug. Every night I tell her I love her, cry a little, and then I tell her goodnight.

So, why am I sharing this? It's been two years. I shouldn't be missing her so much, right? Who can say how long grief will linger. My father died when I was only 23 and I still miss him, and grieve the many years we didn't get to share.

It seems to me that mankind was not created for this kind of loss. God gave us a perfect and eternal life, and then we messed it up. In our selfish demanding way we accepted the lie of the enemy and rebelled against God. And now we pay the price.

But God is not without mercy. He sent a Redeemer, Jesus Christ. And as the day approaches to celebrate His birth, I am reminded that God made a way for us. I miss my loved ones who have already moved to heaven, but I am promised there will be a grand reunion one day. Praise God for His goodness. We don't deserve such mercy and love, but He offers it anyway.

The only catch is that we need to reach out and accept the gift. We have to set aside our own arrogant pride and determination to have things our way and say, "Yes. I believe. Father, please accept me into your family." Immediately God pulls us into His arms and holds us close. He will never let go.

What follows our decision will be unique for each of us. There will be trials as well as great and beautiful moments, even triumphant moments. It won't necessarily be easy to walk the path God chooses for us, but we are promised that He will join us on our journey and in the end welcome us home.

Today I mourn my sister's absence and so many others, but my heart is comforted because I know our farewell is not forever. I remember her rejoicing over all the precious moments we shared and I look forward to our joyful reunion.

I pray for all of you who grieve and whose grief is intensified during the holiday season. It's okay to weep. But in your sorrow reach out to The One who promises to one day wipe away every tear. He will comfort you.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

A New Christmas

In years past there were so many things about Christmas that I loved being a part of. I have many wonderful memories - Caroling with family and friends, trudging through mountain snow in search of the perfect tree, baking all sorts of goodies with my family, Christmas shopping, and of course decorating the tree.

These days it's not quite the same. I'm older, much older, and some of the delights of the past are just too difficult for me to do now. But the memories are precious and I've discovered new beauty in this winter season of life. I still do a little baking, and this year I wore myself out by doing almost all of my shopping in local stores. It was worth it, though. I loved the displays, and being able to choose just the right gifts for my loved ones. But there were very few Christmas cards sent and I let my husband pick out our tree with our daughter's help. And sledding? No way. 

However, I've spent extra time with my family, some of that remotely since my son and his family live in France now, and I'll be watching several traditional movies. Christmas carols and hymns have filled my home with nostalgia and spiritual renewal. I am looking forward to Christmas Eve services with my church family. This year it will be the highlight of my season - a time to reflect and rejoice about the coming of our Savior, which is really what this season is all about.

Christmas holiday fun has changed through the years, but Christmas is still a precious time to remember loved ones, some who have graduated to heaven, and those who are still here to celebrate with me. It is a time to remember the most incredible birth ever on this planet. The birth of Christ, the son of God, our Redeemer in the flesh.

It's easy to get caught up in all the merrymaking and forget the reason for our rejoicing. I hope you will take time to reflect on Christ and how amazing it is to be included in God's family.

Merry Christmas.

Bonnie

Turning North

I am weeping as I write and I wept as I read this devotional this morning. These are not my words, but they are my heart. From the book, Embraced by Lysa TerKeurst.

Turning North

    We all have messes in our lives. Financial messes. Relationship messes. Health Messes. Kid messes. Home messes. Business messes. Messes that leave us feeling stuck. Like we may be stranded in this place of upheaval and unrest forever.

    I can't help but think about the people of Israel as they were wandering through the desert. We read in the book of Deuteronomy about how they were stuck in a mess with no end in sight. God had miraculously set them free from the oppression and bondage of slavery in Egypt. But their unwillingness to fully trust Him and their blatant refusal to take possession of the promised land landed them in quite a mess. A forty-year, desert-wandering mess.

    In Deuteronomy 2, Moses reminds them of a time when they had been stuck circling the same mountain for too long. God spoke into their wandering and let them know it was time to head in a new direction. 

The Lord said to me, "You have made your way around this hill country long enough; now turn north."

Deuteronomy 2:2 - 3

    It was a pivotal moment for them to remember. One where they had faced a life-changing choice. They could stay stuck, endlessly circling the same old place, or they could choose hope and head in a new direction with the Lord.

    They could turn north.

    I think this is the perfect time to pause and ask God if there is anywhere we need to "turn north" in our own lives. Have we been circling the same messes for years and years with no end in sight? Are there areas we know we need to change but we feel like it will require too much sacrifice?

    Here's a question we can ask ourselves right in the midst of our messes ...

    Am I letting this mess define me or refine me?

    The answer to this question is crucial.

    If I am letting a mess define me, I will feel hopeless.

    If I am letting a mess refine me, I will be hopeful.

    If the Israelites had looked at their forty-year track record of aimless wandering and defined themselves as rebellious failures, they would have lost all hope and kept right on circling. But because they embraced the correction and redirection of the Lord, they were able to turn around and move toward His promises with hope firmly planted in their hearts.

    It's time for our messes to stop defining us.

    It's time to embrace the refining process and turn north.

    So how do we begin to turn north? We replace our old thoughts with empowering truths from God's Word. I call them "Go-To Scripts." In other words, these statements can become our new patterns of thought. And these new patterns of thought will empower us for a new way of living.

    Here are some of my favorite "Go-To Scripts" for turning north.

    1. I was made for more than to be stuck in a vicious cycle or defeat. Deuteronomy 2:3, "You have made your way around this hill country long enough; now turn north."

    2.  When tempted, I either remove the temptation or remove myself from the situation. I Corinthians 10:13-14, "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. Therefore, my dear friends, flee.."

    3. I don't have to worry about letting God down, because I was never holding him up - God's grace is sufficient. 2 Corinthians 12:9-11. "He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness ... for when I am weak, then I am strong."

    May we hear the Father's voice, filled with grace and free from any hint of condemnation, declaring over us today, "It's time to turn north, beloved." And may we be found turning toward Him and moving forward with Him.

__________

It is not customary for me to share an entire devotional from a book I'm reading, but today it seemed right. I hope this has blessed you. Take it with you and feel the love and grace of God, and live your life with hope.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie