ARE YOU AN EAGLE OR A PARROT?

It is one of those especially beautiful days here on our small mountain in Southern Oregon. The sun shimmers off distance hills and illuminates the forest with life. It's the kind of day when I want to do nothing but gaze at our incredible view. 

There was an extra drop of special today. A golden eagle sailed across the sky, riding the wind currents above the forested hills. I hurried out to my deck to get a better look. Eagles are something special here - we seem them only occasionally.

While I watched this magnificent bird soar above the forest I was taken back to a small home group years ago when my pastor asked a simple question. "Do you want to be an eagle or a parrot?"

My first reaction - An eagle of course! But as I considered more carefully I wasn't so sure. 

Eagles are courageous. They do things like dive off cliffs or tree tops. They use their skill and strength to survive, and make powerful dives toward earth to capture  a meal. And they let the currents carry them into the clouds. They don't pretend to be anything other than what they are - they hit life straight on, meeting each challenge with boldness.

I'm not so certain an eagles qualities are anything like mine. And I ask, "Do I really want to be an eagle?" If I were a parrot I could remain safely in a cage. My owner would make sure I had enough to eat and drink and might even spend sweet time with me. I wouldn't have to be courageous. All I'd need to do is what was expected of me.

I don't want to offend parrots or those who love them. They are beautiful birds. But if I must choose - eagle or parrot - I don't want to settle for a cage where nothing is expected of me. I want to be an eagle.

There's a problem with that - I'm not always strong or courageous. I don't like heights. And diving into life is scary ... actually it can be terrifying. 

I can't be an eagle, at least not if I must depend upon myself to do it. I am too weak. But God promises me that where I am weak he is strong. He tells me I am never alone. When I leap I can trust him to be there and lift me into the heights. 

As I step into the coming year I think about what it will look like if I am an eagle, and I challenge myself to charge ahead and soar. And what comfort there is inn knowing that I won't be alone.

How about you? Would you rather be an eagle or a parrot?

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie 

The Journey - Courage

We never know how courage will be displayed. It may be a soldier on a battle field, or a fireman who risks his life to save a stranger, a single mother who steps onto a college campus determined to provide a better future for her family. And sometimes it comes in the shape of a twelve-year-old boy who wants to get back to living.

My grandson Ezra is a determined and courageous twelve-year-old.

Many of you know about the horrific ATV accident last March that nearly extinguished Ezra's life. Every time I see him I see a miracle. Along his journey one doctor after another has shared their amazement over his survival and recovery.

The healing continues. Ezra has a long road ahead due to damage to his skull, more surgery, an eye that has been altered, and teeth that need repair. He's been patient and strong, but being side-lined from the sports he loves has been really hard on him. He couldn't wait any longer, and managed to get permission from his doctor to play basketball this fall.

 

This week he had a home game. It was thrilling, for this grandma, to watch him play.

His team had a good day and so did he. They won and Ezra did a great job at rebounding and blocking, and he made a basket.

The most precious thing of all - He played!

After the game, he joined his brother and sister and had dinner with my husband and me. Of course we talked about the game, which was fun, but it was Ezra's account of what happened just before that has me tearful. 

He was afraid. Ezra didn't know what the consequences of an elbow jammed into his face or skull might be. Or what a hard fall on a gym floor might do. He told us, "I just prayed and trusted God to protect me. And I did my best to get the rebounds and fight for the ball."

That's courage. He may only be twelve, but he's walking in faith.

Ezra's one of my heroes. 

Heroes make life richer for the rest of  us. Do you have a hero in your life? 

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

The Journey - Fight On

The last year has been a time of getting up off the mat and continuing to fight, pushing forward, refusing to give up, and trusting God with my choices. 

I wrote and launched the revised The Journey of Eleven Moons, created a new book, Where Eagles Soar, and started another called To Dance With Dolphins. And I did all the other things people do, plus stood up to my ongoing battle with pain.

My recent release, Where Eagles Soar, was the most difficult writing project I've ever done. There was so much to learn - memoir writing is not fiction, and fiction is what I know how to write. I worked on this project independently, which means I had to maneuver through the publishing process without a partner, though I did have kind friends who were willing to answer my endless list of questions. More than once I was ready to give up. I cried some and prayed a lot. In the end, I managed to reach the finish line ... kind of. The job continues as I do my best to introduce this incredible story and its courageous heroine to the world.

Why? I had a purpose - fulfill God's will. 

I think Lily and her story helped me find courage. She grew up in the midst of unrelenting hardship and survived because she didn't give up. She's still that way. I've watched her push through physical and emotional pain, disappointment, adversity, and fear. But her faith remains strong. I admit that sometimes I've thought she ought to be easier on herself, rest more and not push so hard. But those decisions are hers, not mine. I stand back and admire God's work in her.

So, how do we know when to keep pushing toward a goal, to dig down for more strength or to cry uncle and let it all go? How do we know the difference between God's call and our own?

I don't think we always know. But God is full of grace. 

After my accident in 1991 I slipped into what felt like a bottomless pit of depression. After months of doctor visits and physical therapy I learned I'd never be the person I'd once been and that pain would be a constant companion. It was the Lord who reached down and lifted me out of that pit. And it was his promise to walk with me that helped me move forward. I've pushed on, sometimes when resting would have been best. And I've rested when I should have worked harder. In the end, the Lord has used it all.

There have been times in my life when I just couldn't keep on keeping on. How about you? Have you had to just let go? In those times when you felt you had no more to give, were you able to dig down and find strength and courage to push forward? 

How did you do it? What was your greatest help? And how did you feel on those occasions when you knew it was time to simply rest?

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- A Desert Flower

The beauty of desert flowers always surprises me. Surrounded by an arid plain makes them especially vibrant. And a desert seems an unlikely place for any kind of blooming. Yet, there they are--lovely and determined, against all odds.

These exquisite flowers remind me of my sister Leslie who led a troubled life. She lived with mental illness, alcohol and drug addiction and a physical illness that took her from us far too early. Much of her life was a misery. And when she was forced, out of need, to live in a nursing home it seemed such a desolate place for a young woman.

However, we know some of the most stunning flowers bloom in desolate places. God had big plans for my sister and she did bloom in that nursing home. Her life became greater than her sorrows.

Each time I look back, I'm newly amazed at God's workings in her life. And yet, while speaking recently during an  interview I forgot about desert flowers. I boldly stated that if I'd had any control over whether or not I would be injured in an auto accident, that  took place back in 1991, I would have chosen not. I am not courageous enough to choose chronic pain and disability. But I had no choice, and a log truck tipped over on a curve striking my van and changing my life forever.

When I see how small my faith is, I am stricken. And thankful that God does not rely on me to make the grand decisions.  :-)

Before the accident I lived something of a charmed life--happy marriage, children, good friends, a glorious place to live and a job I loved. After the accident all I could see was the desert. And yet, in that desert I bloomed. God used every bit of my angst and sorrow, questions and groanings to help me grow. He directed me down paths I'd never thought possible.

The path God chose for me opened doors into people's lives. I hear from individuals almost daily who find life a little bit easier or their sorrows more bearable because we share the bereavement, the questions, the fears. and the daily grind of living with our heartaches. They may discover something in a book I've written or even a word here on my blog that encourages them. And sometimes they find  hope when I'm speaking to a group. When I hear from these dear ones I feel like a desert flower. I've bloomed--brighter and transformed. But it is only because I submitted to and, on my best days, even embraced the path chosen for me.

I am not always lovely. I am human, after all. But I know that I am better than I would have been if my life had been effortless. It is the pressure of adversity that molds and shapes. It teaches us to rely on God and to step onto a path of His choosing.

I pray I will, we will, be courageous and desire the best . . . God's will rather than our own.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

TOPIC OF THE DAY: World Cancer Day

Did you know that this is "World Cancer Day?" I didn't until I saw it in the headlines. It's a good day to remember those who battle for life and those whom we've lost to the fight. Science has made great strides forward and I'm thankful to say that cancer no longer necessarily means we've run out of time.

I've known people with cancer, presently know some with it and I'll know others in the future. If statistics are correct, chances are pretty good that I will one day battle the disease myself. My father did. He died from a form of lymphoma in his early fifties--He was much too young. It's been many, many years since he left this earth, but it takes only a small reminder, like the article I came across, to carry me back to those days when he fought and lost.

Back in the 70's cancer was a dreaded word. I remember when my parents gathered all five of us children together to give us the news. Dad was dying. Of course they didn't tell us that right up front, but we knew soon enough. The doctor's told my father that they had no cure for the type of cancer he had, but that with treatment they could give him more time, possibly a couple of years.

With children still at home, my dad chose to fight for the time. Instead of two he battled hard and gained six. I'll never forget his war with cancer, the day of his death and a wet rainy afternoon when we laid him in the ground. But, what stands out above all the painful memories is the bright shining example he set for those close to him--how to live while dying. I still miss him, but when I consider how he lived out his final six years I smile as love and pride well up inside of me.

Chemo is rough and back then it could be torture. But he bravely faced the chemicals and radiation and shunned any notion that the disease and the treatments that came along with it would keep him down. He went right on living--every day. He understood that each day was a gift and he wasn't going to let even one slip by him. He never missed a day of work in five and a half years. He went sailing and fishing, worked in his garden, fished, played with his family and he laughed. . . a lot. He didn't waste one precious day. And in all those years I never heard him complain.

My father was the bravest man I've ever known. He stood toe to toe with cancer and although he died, he beat it--He beat its ability to rob him of joy. I have friends, right now, who are in the midst of this kind of battle. Again and again I see the same spark of determination and joy in them that I saw in my father. They refuse to roll over and let a diease destroy their life.

Over the years, my father taught me many lessons, but watching him thrive in the midst of the most difficult battle of his life has made me stronger. I witnessed his life and learned how courageous he truly was. I'm proud to be his daughter and today on World Cancer Day, I honor him. I thank God for giving me a father of character, who taught me by example what it means to live honorably.

We can live with honor, joy and peace even when life throws the worst at us. Let's not just remember on "Cancer Day", but every day. Love, laugh, work, and share yourself with others. Seize the beauty of every moment.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Courage

I'm still overwhelmed by what happened today and don't really know where to begin. I pray that I can communicate the exquisite experience in a way that helps you to taste its essence along with me.

I spent the afternoon at a "hat" party. I don't suppose that sounds spectacular at all, but this was a very special hat party. It was held for a dear friend of mine-- Deena. I'm several years older than Deena and I've known her since she was a young, young woman. Today, Deena is fighting cancer. Her sister decided to throw a party to encourage Deena and remind her how much she is loved. And there were beautiful hats and scarves too. Deena is rapidly losing her hair from chemo treatments.

It was a precious afternoon, one I will never forget. As with most parties there were decorations, food and cake and the room was filled with the chatter of friends and family. But there were also deep emotions roaming among us--love, joy, laughter, sorrow, fear, hope and courage. It was like being at a banquet where one was invited to feast on the best of life.

I suppose you might wonder how fear and sorrow can be the best. They provide a reflection--without them how would we ever recognize the rest of life's goodness. So . . . for me the time was rich with God's presence and His love.

I watched Deena, feeling such admiration for her. She most certainly must be afraid; she is human. Still, she looked lovely and strong. I could see weariness in her eyes (after all battling for one's life requires a great deal of energy). What stood out from the depths of her dark brown eyes and the set of her jaw was courage and determination.

The party closed with a hair cut. Deena decided to cut her gorgeous dark hair down to about an inch of length. There are practical reasons for this; it will be less to deal with as she loses it. But I believe it was also Deena's way of standing up to the cancer--to look at it straight on and say "I choose how I'm going to fight. I'll do it my way."

She plans to win. I'm cheering her on.

Life is finite, none of us will live on this earth forever. But while we are here how much better it is to find the strength inside and the courage to live full out. So ask yourself, "What is it you were called to be, or called to do, or called to love or . . ." There is so much to be done, so much to taste. Do it. Now. While you can.

Be courageous!

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie

Tips For Triumphant Living -- Left Waiting?

Do you have someone in your life that you've been praying for, but there seems to be no change, no leaning toward the Lord? Is there a need in your life that's gone unanswered in spite of fervent prayer? Or an affliction that perseveres although you groan with the longing for release? Perhaps you've prayed for a situation for years and received no indication of change.

It's likely we've all been in this place. When prayers go unanswered, or seemingly so, it may feel as if God doesn't hear or doesn't care. Of course if we believe God's Word to be true, we know He always cares and always knows. So, what should we do when we are left waiting?

God's Word tells us to persevere, to push on, to run the race . . . to believe. In 2nd Corinthians 5:7 it says, "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

If we're to rely fully on God we must choose to do so. In the midst of a storm or confusion our only hope is to fix our eyes on Him. When we do, our faith is strengthened and we will be able to stand and to wait. Faith almost always requires waiting. We need to remember that God can move mountains. We can rely upon Him.

If my heart and mind are set upon the Lord then my hope is in Him. I can believe and trust. The kind of strength that brings about change comes from God not from man's fragile unsteady self reliance.

Believe. Trust in God, not in circumstances. Be strong in the Lord. He hears our cry and will not turn away from us. Never give up hope. And if God's answer is not the one we expect trust all the more. Rest in his will, for He sees the beginning and the end. And it is in His loving arms that we will find peace.

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie