The Light

Some days seem too difficult to bear. Darkness closes in around us, and we wonder how and when will life get better. 

I have days like that. In truth, a lot of them this past year. Earlier this week I was told it is time for me to learn how to be blind. I know that, but to hear it from two professionals in one week made it more real.

The past year feels like a year of loss. In truth, it has been, but there has been a silver lining too. The Lord has walked every painful ... and joyful step with me.

Joshua 1:5 says, "No one will be able to stand their ground against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you."

God's Word is filled with precious promises, promises that can carry us through the most agonizing days. You may be sitting at the bedside of a suffering loved one ... or watching a dear one walk away from you, or worse ... away from God. You may not know how you will provide for your family. Or your car may be in the shop again and you wonder how you'll pay for the repairs. There is an endless list of worries and fears that can haunt our days, even our dreams. But God promises we will not walk through the days and nights alone. 

Our Father waits for us to turn to Him. 

I have lived sixty-six years and there have been many times I thought my ship would sink in a worldly storm. I found myself without hope, trembling in fear ... until I looked into The Light, reached for God's hand, and placed my trust in Him.

The only way out of the darkness is to follow the light. It's always there. And as harsh as this may seem, it is our choice - darkness or light. We choose.

Philippians 4:6 - 9 is always a place in God's Word that reminds me what I need to do in troubled times.

    "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. THEN you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 
    And now dear brothers, fix your thoughts on what is true, and  honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me -- everything you heard from me and saw me doing. THEN the God of peace will be with you.

I wobble along through this sometimes terrifying world, falling and stumbling. And there are moments when I feel lost and weak. But with each challenge I learn more clearly how to see the light.

It's always there. I just need to open The Book, Seek His face, Listen to His voice. And rest in Him.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

ARE YOU AN EAGLE OR A PARROT?

It is one of those especially beautiful days here on our small mountain in Southern Oregon. The sun shimmers off distance hills and illuminates the forest with life. It's the kind of day when I want to do nothing but gaze at our incredible view. 

There was an extra drop of special today. A golden eagle sailed across the sky, riding the wind currents above the forested hills. I hurried out to my deck to get a better look. Eagles are something special here - we seem them only occasionally.

While I watched this magnificent bird soar above the forest I was taken back to a small home group years ago when my pastor asked a simple question. "Do you want to be an eagle or a parrot?"

My first reaction - An eagle of course! But as I considered more carefully I wasn't so sure. 

Eagles are courageous. They do things like dive off cliffs or tree tops. They use their skill and strength to survive, and make powerful dives toward earth to capture  a meal. And they let the currents carry them into the clouds. They don't pretend to be anything other than what they are - they hit life straight on, meeting each challenge with boldness.

I'm not so certain an eagles qualities are anything like mine. And I ask, "Do I really want to be an eagle?" If I were a parrot I could remain safely in a cage. My owner would make sure I had enough to eat and drink and might even spend sweet time with me. I wouldn't have to be courageous. All I'd need to do is what was expected of me.

I don't want to offend parrots or those who love them. They are beautiful birds. But if I must choose - eagle or parrot - I don't want to settle for a cage where nothing is expected of me. I want to be an eagle.

There's a problem with that - I'm not always strong or courageous. I don't like heights. And diving into life is scary ... actually it can be terrifying. 

I can't be an eagle, at least not if I must depend upon myself to do it. I am too weak. But God promises me that where I am weak he is strong. He tells me I am never alone. When I leap I can trust him to be there and lift me into the heights. 

As I step into the coming year I think about what it will look like if I am an eagle, and I challenge myself to charge ahead and soar. And what comfort there is inn knowing that I won't be alone.

How about you? Would you rather be an eagle or a parrot?

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie 

The Journey - It's All About Love

I had such a busy and blessed Thanksgiving that I didn't get a message out on my blog this week.  So Sorry.

First order of business - We have a winner from last week's guest blogger. 

Congratulations, Patti Shene! 

You have won a copy of Dandelion Moon! 

Over the Thanksgiving Holiday I enjoyed precious time with family. I was reminded of my many blessings.

The weekend stirred up my internal thought processes. The idea of love and what it truly looks like whirled around in my mind and my heart. 

None of us is good at loving all the time, but let's be honest, some people are better at loving than others. I've decided that a person with a warm and gentle heart always beats out someone who has their act together. We know those people. They are the ones who always look good - who say the right thing - help the poor - make wise choices - and are successful (in the eyes of the world). But what about the warm and fuzzy component? It's gone missing. 

The world would have us believe that the appearance of goodness is what matters ... and the world would be wrong. The world sets a low standard when it comes to how we should love others. God's Word, on the other hand, sets a high standard. But any other bar of measurement is inadequate. 

1st Corinthians 13 says it so well. Please read and take time to reflect. What is God telling us?

  If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing.
  Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
  Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes these partrial things will become useless.
  When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. all that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
  Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.

Love one another. We have only one chance at this life. There are no do-overs. So, let's do our best.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God - Feather Clipping

Darkness enveloped the forest while wind and rain whipped the land. I approached a shadowed building, lay my hand on a cold metal clasp and slowly opened the door. It creaked on aging hinges . . . 

Am I writing a thriller? Nah. Just visiting the chicken house after dark. 

Some of our chickens like to fly over the fence. We've provided a large space for them to range so they don't need more freedom. And sometimes outside the fence there are marauders who like to kill chickens. So in order to protect the vagabonds we sometimes need to clip their wings. The best time is after dark when they can easily be lifted off the perch.

My daughter, her husband and my grandson and I went to work. We were gentle and soft spoken, but some of the hens got stirred up anyway, acting like they were about to be murdered. One hen in particular, a big fat sassy gal with gorgeous black and blue feathers started cackling loudly and ruffling up her feathers while doing her best to get free. I talked gently and held her for a few moments, but she kept right on cackling her head off. We all started laughing, even though I felt kind of sorry for her. Obviously she believed we were about to put an end to her.

After we'd finished and I was back inside and reading I got to thinking about that hen and how little she trusted us. We were there to help protect her. The clipping is not painful and it will help keep her safely inside the pen and away from predators. We knew that, but she didn't.

Sometimes I'm kind of like that hen. I like my comfort zone and I want to stay in it. When something comes along and rocks my comfortable boat I don't like it. Or if God closes a door on me I can get to cackling about it, certain calamity is coming upon me.

I know I'm not the only one who gets disgruntled when things seem to go wrong. Would I be right to say there are a lot of us who do that? And if the truth were told, we'd be a lot happier and live more peaceful lives if we stopped squawking and ruffling our feathers over unexpected circumstances and learned to trust God's wise perspective instead.

Maybe we can remind one another that God's not about to do us in when all He intends to do is a little feather clipping.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Walking On Water

During our home group meeting a couple of weeks ago, people in the group shared personal experiences of answered prayers. It was heartening to hear how God had been at work in their lives and to be reminded of His touch in our own.

While  driving home that night, Greg and I talked about our history together and how God's presence and intervention had seen us through. He has been with us at every step.

He was there even when we didn't believe. He was there when our eyes were opened. And He was there when our children entered this world, then rescued their lives when they were in peril. He stood with us through all the joys and sorrows, marriages and divorces, births and deaths.

As we looked back through the years, it was clear that God had walked with us, providing comfort and even a miracle now and again. The question arose--With such a history, why do we still doubt?

Jesus asked that very question of one of his disciples. There is an incredible account of great faith in Matthew 14:25-31, which says:
     During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said and cried out in fear. 
      But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." 
     "Lord, it is you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
     "Come," Jesus said.
     Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
     Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

At first glimpse at this story I see Peter's great faith. He stepped out of the boat!

And then he took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink, became afraid and beseeched Jesus to save him. Jesus reached out to him, but his next words startled me. He asked, "Why did you doubt?"

When I read those words a heavy thump went off in my heart. I can ask myself that same question a thousand times. It isn't enough to remember the presence and the touch of  Jesus in our lives. It isn't enough to celebrate His love, mercy and salvation. Though, those things are good. Walking with Jesus is supposed to be a walk of faith, each moment one of believing . .  . before a miracle is performed or even if it isn't.

How amazing it would be to do more than just step out of the boat, but to actually walk on water . . . every time. I have had my faith-filled moments of water walking, but there have been too many times that I have taken my eyes off Christ and looked at the problems and sank into a churning sea.

Today is my birthday, and I thank the Lord for my life. But the reality is it's not my life--it belongs to Him and I pray for lots more water-walking days.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- A Shout Of Faith

I started the morning with coffee, my devotional and Bible reading. I love quiet mornings with the fragrance and touch of a cool breeze and the sound of birdsong accompanying a word from God. This morning was delicious. God's presence quieted me as I read from Streams in the Desert. As with most days, I was moved and encouraged. 

These words shouted at me from the page. I knew God was trying to get my attention.

"The loud shout of steadfast faith is the exact opposite of the groans of wavering faith and the complaints of discouraged hearts. Of all the secrets of the Lord (Ps. 25:14), I do not believe there are any more valuable than the secret of this loud shout of faith. The Lord said to Joshua, "See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men." (Joshua 6:2). He did not say, "I will deliver" but "I have delivered." The victory already belonged to the children of Israel, and now they were called to take possession of it. But the big question still remaining was how. It looked impossible, but the Lord had a plan."

These summer days have been difficult ones. I have done much too much complaining and some days my faith feels as if it is being blown by the wind. I've been walking through a shadowy valley. And though I seek the light on the hilltops, sometimes I am unable to see it. And I am hard pressed to believe in what seems impossible. 

But God is full of love. He sees me and has compassion on me. He quiets my spirit with inspired writings and His presence. As I rest in Him I am reminded of His ability to accomplish the impossible. Nothing is impossible with Him. Nothing.

I have been called, just as I am with all of my faults and frailties. It is not me who accomplishes the work, but God in me. If he can bring down a mighty wall simply by the faith of believers and their obedience to His instruction then He can help me accomplish what He's called me to do, which requires far less faith than that of Joshua and the Israeliltes.

Me and God are in this together. I'm not alone. And neither are you.

Victory is ours.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Make Me A Channel.

Make Me a Channel by St. Francis of Assisi:

“Lord, make me a channel of your peace. Where there is hatred let me bring love. Where there is offense, forgiveness. Where there is discord, reconciliation. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is sadness, joy. Where there is darkness, your light.”

When I read this my heart wrenches. Even at my best I cannot reach this ideal. And I'm rarely at my best. I fall far short of God's standard -- Sometimes I want to hate -- Sometimes I stubbornly hold on to offenses -- Sometimes I rail against others -- Sometimes my faith is more like a limp noodle than a strong, straight rod -- Often I struggle to climb out of a pit of despair.

I long to please God, to be a woman of faith, love and hope, filled with joy that overflows to others. I want to be a light to the world. But more importantly I want to be a light to those closest to me. Those who know me at my best and at my worst. What does my family see in me? I pray they will see Christ. I've been told, Mom, we know you're not perfect. But in your weakness God has been faithful. You demonstrate love toward us even even when we're at our worst. We have seen what it is to walk with Christ because you walk with Him. You have loved us. And we love you.

Though I have fallen short in so many ways, God has seen to bless me anyway. And I am forever bonded with my family in love through Christ.















I haven't done it perfectly, but I know The One who is perfect. He upholds me when I am weak and loves me when I don't deserve to be loved. He has forgiven all my sins and thrown them as far as the east is from the west. Because of Him I am a channel of His love and forgiveness.

Only because of Him.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Pray Big Prayers

I recently watched a movie called Faith for Potatoes. It’s based on a true story of a man, Angus Buchan, who lives in South Africa. As a young man his life was filled with struggles and hardship and his heart was full of anger and fear. One day he joined his wife in church and he heard the Word of God and believed in Jesus as Savior. Angus was transformed.

His Christian walk began like many of ours. Deep joy and hope bloomed inside even though his life remained painfully difficult. Through struggles, he learned to trust God. One night during a storm Angus’s neighbor was hit by lightening and died, but God raised up the person, gave him his life back and Angus saw that his God could do anything.

Angus became a voice for Christ. And when it looked like he would lose his farm, he prayed a "ridiculous" prayer and then he waited . . . believing.

I don’t want to give away the ending of the story, but I was struck by how puny my prayers are. God is powerful. He can do all things. And yet I live as if He is frail and faint of heart. In spite of my weak faith God still listens to my prayers and answers them. Sometimes He says yes, other times He tells me I must wait, and there are circumstances that require a no. But there is peace in relying on God's greater wisdom.

I wonder how different my life would be, how different I would be if I truly grasped how BIG God is. What might I accomplish?

I say it's time to begin praying BIG PRAYERS and trusting God to overcome impossible odds. Shall we believe together for the impossible? I say, a great big YES!

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie

Tips for triumphant living -- Take a flying leap of faith.

Jump and build your wings on the way down is one of my favorite quotes. I don't know who penned it, but it paints a picture of the way I'd like to live my life . . . taking flying leaps of faith.

Perhaps the reason it speaks to me is because I’m not very adventurous. I tend to step out cautiously. In that way I'm very different from my husband. He loves adventure and consequently he has more fun than I do.

There's an Indiana Jones movie, The Temple of Doom (I think that's the title), where Mr. Jones must cross a deep chasm. The secret of crossing the bottomless ravine is that he must step out onto an invisible bridge, believing it's there. Only after taking this step of faith will it appear. If he's to move forward in his journey he's required to make what appears to be a suicidal plunge into the abyss. Any other choice means failure.

We each have moments like that (perhaps not quite so dramatic), when we need to believe and step out in faith without assurance of success or reward. I must confess I often approach these opportunities with trepidation, but some of the results have been remarkable.

One incident comes swiftly to mind. It happened about a year after my accident. I was still in terrible physical shape when I was offered a scholarship to the Oregon Christian Writers Summer Conference. It made no sense for me to attend, considering my circumstances, but I was certain God had provided this opportunity. I decided to trust and to believe He would take good care of me. That doesn't mean I wasn’t scared; I was.

After four days of soaking in writing expertise offered by teachers and mentors I returned home inspired and ready to write. The Lord had a plan.

The 1992 conference launched my writing career. When I showed up that first day of the conference I didn't know where the experience would take me, but I stepped onto my own invisible bridge. The Lord has blessed my small leap of faith. I've written and published fifteen novels and I'm in the midst of a new series.

It's healthy to move out of our comfort zones and take risks. Do we? If not what might we be missing?

Do you have a story of a time when you or someone you know leapt and built wings on the way down? I'd love to hear it, and I know others who read these posts would be inspired. After all, it's not easy to live triumphantly.

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie

Tips for triumphant living -- Godly Comebacks

Chuck Swindoll said, “I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”

Evidently I'm not done with last week's topic about "dancing" because this is what came out when I sat down to write. I promise to move on to something new next week. :-)

I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. Swindoll. We may think that reacting in an appropriate way to difficuties is easy, but for most of us it’s not. We have to choose how we’re going to respond to what comes at us. Sometimes we don’t look or act anything like Christ.

The problem may be something “small” like a moment of irritation with a store clerk (I’ve had to apologize more than once) or it might be something significant or even life-threatening. I’ve had personal experience with this kind of thing as well.

Seventeen years ago one of the biggest tests of my faith smacked in to me in the form of a log truck. My immediate response was to praise God for His goodness—He’d saved my life. But pain filled weeks and months piled up and what followed was fear, anger, and depression. I waited for God to make me better inside and out, but with each passing day, each painful test, and each additional disappointment I sank further into desolation and wondered what had become of my faith.

I accept that drastic changes in our lives often require time and that there are phases of growth. I needed time to grow through all that was happening to me, to learn to accept and even embrace the new me. It didn’t come easy. And there were days of shame and tears when I wondered why I wasn’t responding to this “tragedy” in a more Godly manner.

But it’s the fruit of what came out of the dark days that really matters. God understands grieving and the process of becoming who He wishes us to be. He was patient with me. I finally climbed out of the pit of despair and went on, deciding to live my life—to find out what I could do and then do it. A fabulous truth is that I didn’t have to make one step of that journey alone. God was and is with me every moment.

I believe nothing touches me that God does not allow. So . . . if that’s true who am I to question His choices for me? He wants me to grow up and become more like Christ. That can’t happen without pressure, which often comes in the form of hardships or trials.

How are we going to respond to the challenges? If we rely on our Lord in the day-to-day, trusting and growing in Christ will be an automatic result, which offers immeasurable blessings. And the beautiful thing is that our blessings flow over into the lives of other people.

How will we respond to the next “something” that comes into our life? It can happen at any moment. So let’s be prepared and set our minds upon Christ.


Abundant blessings,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Take Possession of the Land.

Earlier this week while reading Joshua my mind went to a special day, a moment when God answered the prayer of a broken-hearted woman. On that day He gave me all I’d asked for and more.

There was a time when my husband and I were getting a divorce (that’s another story). As a new believer I understood, as a child does, that her Daddy can do anything. So I asked God to restore my marriage, bless us with children, and allow me the privilege of being part of a Christian family. And I also asked if He’d mind giving us a home on acreage. I know it sounds silly, but having a little farm was part of my dream.

God honored my prayer. My husband and I were reconciled. When, Greg, asked me to try again I was afraid; I’d been deeply wounded. But like Joshua God wanted me to take possession of the land—to be courageous and to obey. So with what little faith I had I stepped forward, trusting in the promise. My husband and I fell in love again and in the years that followed we were blessed with three children. We worshiped together and served together. And then one day we were given the home I’d prayed for so many years before.

When the land (five acres) was offered it made no sense to purchase it and move from one state to another. My husband had a terrific job in Seattle and the United States was in the midst of a terrible recession. But God said, “Go, take possession of the land I give you.” With our shield of faith in place we moved to the foothills of Southern Oregon.

The transition wasn’t easy—the recession had taken hold in our rural community. We faced innumerable obstacles and challenges, but God walked with us through each and every one. We’ve spent twenty-seven years in this place that He gave us. We raised our children here, served our community and our church and have offered hospitality to many who have walked through our door. And we’ve loved each other here. This place is our promised land.

There are days when all I see are the ruts in the driveway, the mud tracked in on the carpet, the garden that needs tending and I think that a small place in town with sidewalks and city water might be nice. God in His graciousness reminds me of all that He’s given. Me and my family have been blessed beyond measure here in the foothills of the Cascades. If my husband and I had been too afraid or too distracted or too something and had not listened to our Lord’s leading we would have missed out on His special gift to us.

I am living a dream. God gave me more than I could ever hope for. My Christian children are grown now with children of their own. And I am privileged to be a part of their lives. I am still in love with the man I married 36 years ago and we still reside on the land God gave us.

Is God offering you “a promised land”? Don’t be afraid. He knows the beginning and the end and He will stand with you while you take possession.

Grace & peace to you from God.

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God-Knit Together

Fifty-six years ago, today, I met my parents . . . and my two older brothers for the first time. It was an auspicious moment.

My father is gone now, but my mother is still living and this day never passes without her thinking about my birth and how we first met. When my childrens' birthdays come I do the same, remembering my labor, the trip to the hospital, all the special particulars of that child’s labor and then the moment . . . our first introduction face to face. Each one’s arrival impacted me in a tremendous way.

In light of this, my mind wanders to God and what He may feel about our arrival here on earth. I’m sure He’s not surprised at what He finds for He knew us long before we were born.

Psalm 139 is full of treasures and one day we’ll take a look at some of its other verses, but today I want to focus on a few right in the middle of the chapter, verses 13 – 16.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

As I read these passages tears come. How amazing! God created me on purpose. The God of the universe thought it out and then crafted me—Bonnie Leon. I too often forget this significant truth. And worse than that I sometimes loathe his creation, thinking He must have been mistaken and I ought to go back for a refitting.

He made no mistake; the first verse says He knit me together. When I read this I see gentle nurturing hands creating something of value. The verse goes on to say that there was nothing hidden from Him. He knew exactly what He was doing.

These statements are beyond my comprehension . . . but I know they are true. I trust God; He does not lie, not ever. The unfathomable truth is that He formed me. He could have made me better—smarter, prettier, kinder, gentler and a long list of other er’s, but I’m me with all my weaknesses and foibles. And yet, He loves me.

He gave me free will and therefore I am an imperfect human being, one who makes wrong choices, worries too much, and has been known to whine on occasion, and who isn’t always kind and full of love. But the core of me came into being at His will. I can trust Him; I’m a continuing work.

Verse sixteen says all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. I pray I do not squander the time given me and that I savor every moment, remembering that the good and not so good are all part of the journey and that the journey is a gift.

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie