Relationship: The In-Between Places

Christmas of 2010 family gathered at my home from around the globe--My Sis and her husband traveled from Alaska, Mom and Dad came from Washington, my son skated over the mountains from Central Oregon, my  niece and her family jetted all the way from New Zealand and a nephew flew from Florida, while numerous others joined us from within our county here in Southern Oregon.


As you can see in the picture (and others I posted back in 2010) we are having a grand time. We all look
happy . . . don't we? We were, truly. But it wasn't all laughter and merriment. We had our "moments".

Some faced jet lag, others had colds and the stomach flu made its rounds through the family. There were temper tantrums from some of the little ones and short tempers from us all, even a few tense moments between family members. It wasn't all beauty and light.

And yet, there was beauty and love--lots of love.

A few nights ago while hanging out with my mother in the ER I got to thinking about the in-between spaces of our lives. It was definitely not a good thing to be in the ER. I hated that my  mother was sick again and losing her sleep and having to be poked and prodded once more by doctors. I was tired and wished I were in bed. But, in the midst of all that Mom cracked jokes and spoke tenderly to me. We shared thoughts and feelings, traveled through memories together . . . and as I think about the time in the ER--I loved it. At least the in-between spaces.

Life is not perfect and never will be, not on this earth. There will be no perfect holidays or family gatherings, no perfect aging process or perfect relationships. But there will be moments that make all the rest beautiful.

So, when you're tempted to see only the troubles of life, remember the moments that make it remarkable.

Life even with all it's messes is a gift. And so are the people we love.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Books & Writing: Read This Book!

Last night I finished reading Sweeter Than Birdsong and I must recommend Rosslyn Elliott's most recent novel.

Sweeter Than Birdsong is book two in The Saddler Legacy. I must admit it took me a while to get into this book (who knows, maybe it was me--I often read in drips and drabs because of my busy schedule), but once I was hooked the characters, story and amazing writing captivated me.

It's a wonderful read . . . if you like history, romance and vivid writing. The series is a work of fiction but is inspired by a real family--the Hanby family, who are to this day the most celebrated citizens of Westerville, Ohio.

Last year I read Rosslyn's debut novel, Fairer Than Morning, and was hooked on her writing. I'm a fan who can't wait for her next book.

Rosslyn writes fabulous fiction. I marvel as I read. One of the things I love about her books is that I get a history lesson while I'm carried along on a fictional ride about people who are not cookie-cutter images of who we might expect them to be. Rosslyn does her homework, creating real people, situations and story.

Rosslyn is on my list of favorite authors. If you'd like a good read and want to learn more about American history make sure to read her books.

 

I recommend that you begin with the first book in The Saddler's Legacy, Fairer Than Morning, another fabulous story. However, you don't have to begin with book one because each book stands on its own. 

If you like a good read and want to learn more about American history make sure to read Rosslyn's books.

Happy reading!

Bonnie

Books & Writing: Writers Are Never All Grown Up

When teaching writing workshops, I've often said, the learning never ends. It's true. However, when I make a blunder I'm still startled . . . as if I believe my writing is all grown up.

A few nights ago, I found a major flaw in one of my projects. I've been working on a true story, which is written in first person--a new experience for me. I've loved the process, the writing and the woman whose story I'm telling. It's been an extremely positive experience, thus far.

After countless hours of interviews and transcription I had the material organized and fashioned into a rough outline and was ready to write. I happily sat down and over the course of a couple of weeks, crafted three chapters and sent them off to my agent. I felt pretty good about the work. However, I should have taken another look at those chapters before I pressed send.

A couple of nights ago I did take another look. Yikes! I was stunned at what I found--bones in need of flesh. I was so crazy about the voice of my main character that I became too focused on that portion of the writing, so wanting her to jump off the pages and into the hearts of readers.While doing so I lost sight of something very important--time and place, something I usually do pretty well.

I'm reworking the scenes. And I'm not the least bit distressed--it's blessed fun to see the story come to life more completely. However, I must admit to being disappointed in myself. I really hate it when I get careless, and this story is important. I want to do my best work so it will reach as many readers as possible.

Writers can't get lazy or careless. If we do it will mean extra rewriting or worse yet poor writing. The truth is that writing is rewriting. We never get it right the first time. I encourage you to do all that rewriting with joy, knowing that what you place on the page will matter to someone who reads it.

We can make a difference. There is power in words--to create laughter, joy, an escape and even healing for wounded souls.

Enjoy the crafting and the growing up that is part of a writer's life.


Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God: Light of the World

 I don't like darkness.

I'm not speaking about the shadows that lie between hillsides or beneath the broad limbs of trees. Nor the darkness of a night sky that is brightened by shimmering stars or yellow slice of moon. Or the dark green depths of our local river. No, I'm speaking about darkness of the soul and spirit, where God does not dwell.

I once lived in that dark place. I met each day with fear, without hope. I wondered where the day would lead and moved through it with trepidation.

This morning I settled in my large leather chair and opened my Bible, hungry for the Lord, longing for His presence, His wisdom and love. My eyes moved through scripture and fell upon John 8:12. "Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, 'I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will  have the light that leads to life.'"

I remembered the darkness where I once lived and tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. I no longer live in that place for the light of Christ dwells in me.

Does that mean I am never afraid? Do I live without sorrows? No. I live in this world. But when I'm afraid or feel a situation is hopeless I know it is only for a time. I am loved by the Lord God. He will never forsake me. His light shines brightly from within and above and below, showing me the way. His hand reaches for mine and He holds me secure and promises there will be a day when there will be no darkness.

Reach for His hand--accept the light of truth and step into a future filled with love, hope and light.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Relationship -- Don't Forget The Hugs

      Are you a hugging or a hands off kind of person? Did you know that giving hugs and receiving them is good for you? It's true--studies have proven that when we include hugs in our life we feel better and we are actually healthier  A hug can make all the difference.

Last week I was having a bad day. The world felt dark and unfriendly, and I couldn't seem to pull myself out of the pit I'd stumbled into. To make matters worse, when I looked out the back window my family was building a bonfire. I love bonfires--constructing them, roasting hotdogs over them and sitting around them beneath the stars. But on that day I was stuck inside. It was one of those my body has a toothache days. I'd spent most of the afternoon on the sofa, medicated and with my heating pad and a blanket. I was not happy.

God sent someone to the rescue--my granddaughter, Olivia. She bounced in, wearing a bright smile, her eyes alight with mischief. She sat on the sofa beside me and just grinned. Finally she got around to why she was there. She wanted to know if I could drive to the store and buy marshmallows, chocolate bars and graham crackers. S'mores were on her mind. I was medicated and in no condition to drive so I had to tell her I couldn't go. 

I pouted, but Olivia didn't. Her eyes were full of love and she said, "That's okay, grandma." And then she gave me one of her Livvy hugs that brighten so many of my days. We held each other tight and before I knew it the gloomies were gone. The magical powers of a hug had worked once again. 

My advice is don't despair . . . hug someone. It can make all the difference.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Books & Writing -- Your Story

 Yesterday, I was in tears and at the end of myself.  I asked God, "Is this really what you planned for me? I don't think I can do it anymore."

I wanted out. I was tired of pain and disability. It was just too hard, and it shut me out of so many of the things I love. I wanted a regular life. I wanted the life I had before a log truck barreled around a corner and hit my van.

I've walked with God for a very long time, and I knew the fear and frustration and weariness would pass. God holds me in His mighty hand. I pulled myself together and asked Him for strength, comfort and a will that molds itself to His. I realized there were a lot of "I's" in my rant. And I understood that life isn't all about me . . . not entirely, anyway. And yet, my life is mine to live out.

God uses all sorts of circumstances and people to speak to our hearts. Today he used a kind and a wise woman to help give me perspective. She said that when life becomes too difficult for her she considers the stories she loves to read--they are always about people who have faced adversity and either overcome it or found peace within it. She said that we each are living out our own stories. And as with those we love to read the adversities make our stories richer and more meaningful.

Her words have stayed with me. And though I may not like my personal story it is made up of the things I love in the books I read as well as the ones I write. I have experienced the glory of life as well as its darkness. Many days I feel as if I'm climbing a mountain called pain to reach the summit where I can see across miles of terrain and far beyond the moment. And the God of the universe, my heavenly Father who loves me, is The One who carries me to the top of that mountain. It is because of Him that I can travel this path, one He has allowed, one with a purpose. It is my story to live out. And I pray it will leave a lasting impression of goodness and grace. I know it has a happy ending.

Trust God with your personal story.


Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Mom's Tree

A couple of months ago, my mother moved into an assisted living community here in Southern Oregon. It was a difficult time. She'd been ill for several months and then her husband died, making it necessary for her to move closer to family. Her new residence was very nice, but it wasn't home. We sought ways to make the new place feel homey for Mom. We noticed a tree right outside her apartment windows. Its limbs were bare, but we knew when spring arrived the tree would be transformed.

Several weeks ago, we noticed buds sprouting and we  knew it wouldn't be long until the unveiling. We watched and waited, knowing that when the time was right there would be an explosion of color. This week vibrant pink blossoms opened like an offering from God.  

Mom loves that tree and refers to it as her tree. Of course, technically it belongs to the owners of the assisted living center . . . but we know God provided it for her. He knew Mom would need that tree. Years ago, when it was planted, He understood my mother's love of nature and how she always looks for and sees the beauty in the world around her. This tree is like food for her soul. And so the tree is Mom's tree, a gift from God. 

Mom is doing much better these days. She's discovering a new life, good friends and a home here in Southern Oregon. And she is enjoying the pleasure  of watching her very special tree filled with pink blossoms, buzzing bees and singing birds. It has come to life, just as she has. And that tree will remain Mom's tree . . . until she no longer needs it.

Thank you, Father.


Grace and peace to you from God,


Bonnie

Relationship: Sisters

My sister is here! She lives in a place most people have never heard of--Naukati, Alaska. It's a long way from her home to mine, but she usually makes it down a couple times a year. She drives 1 1/2 hours on a gravel road, then takes a four hour ferry trip, then flies from Ketchikan, Alaska to Portland, Oregon and finally drives another four hours south to my place. It's not an easy trip, especially for those of us who are moving beyond our middle years. I'm sixty and my sister isn't far behind. And of course there is always the trip back to Alaska. My sister is a trooper.

 All of this to say, I'm thankful she's here. And that I know she'll continue to come to see family, which includes me.

Family is a special relationship, but there's something unique between sisters. I know that's not always true--I get that, but me and my Sis are blessed. We don't always agree. We have even said unkind things to each other, but I never doubt that she loves me and my love for her will never die. It is amazing to have a person like that in my life.

She's the one who shares my memories of little girls and Barbie dolls and twirling to watch dresses bloom. And she's the teen sister who shared and kept secrets and the friend I talked to about my most recent crush. She's the young woman who was the first to know I was having a baby and the first one I told that I'd lost that child. We've talked kids, hugged in airports, shed tears and angry words, and we've prayed together and trusted God together.

 I'm thankful for my sister. Even after all these years, I know that if I need to talk she will listen. She's irreplaceable. I love you, Sis.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Books & Writing: Favorite Books

If you're reading this blog, you are likely a reader of a writer. If you're a writer, then you're both. I don't know a writer who doesn't also love to read.

Today I want to talk books. What books do we love and why do we love them. I'm presently reading a couple of books, The Colonel's Lady by Laura Franz and Sweeter Than Birdsong by Rosslyn Elliott. So far, both are impressive.

I have a terrible habit of reading two or three and sometimes four books at a time, not to mention the books I read for researching my writing projects. And presently I'm writing two books simultaneously. We'll see how that works out.

Back to my topic. I love books.

I don't love them all for the same reasons. I have a variety of favorites.

A recent addition to my favorite's list is Rooms by Rupart James. It's not my typical read because it's contemporary. My favorite books are generally historical. But this book was a mystery and had me slightly spooked and kept me guessing and wondering who "the bad guy" really was. Plus snippets of wisdom were sprinkled throughout the pages.

Sometimes loving a book is all about what is being said. When I read the memoir, An Unquiet Mind by Kay Jamison she opened my eyes and gave me a glimpse into the mind of a person living with bi-polar disorder. My sister was bi-polar. Sadly, I read the book after her death. I wish I could apologize to her, because I never got it while she was alive.

I can love a book that doesn't have the greatest writing, but has something wonderful to say. And then there are those books that feel as if you're reading poetry. The writing is exquisite and I relish each word. One of those is Fairer Than Morning by Rosslyn Elliott.

And of course characters are central to all books. Francine River's story, The Last Sin Eater left me with characters I will never forget.

So . . . books that stay with me are all about beautiful writing, characters who seem real, messages that have the power to change, real life history, and of course great stories. I have a long list of favorites. Do you? Can you choose one? Why is it your favorite?

For me -- Hawaii has always risen above the others. I love the history and the story. But there's also The Thornbirds, The Shape of Mercy, The Dawn of a Dream and . . . well okay I can't pick just one. Can you?

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Relationship: A Wedding or a Marriage.

My mind is on weddings. My daughter Sarah married the man of her dreams today--Robert Spencer, a good man. But a wedding is just the beginning of a journey.

No matter what kind of relationship we are part of we need to ask ourselves, "Is this a wedding or a marriage?" There is a profound difference between the two.

When a couple plans to wed there is a lot of hoopla about the wedding. And sadly, the focus is often more about the wedding than the marriage. There's nothing wrong with planning a memorable wedding. Weddings are fun. There are enchanting decorations, gorgeous clothing, handsome grooms and stunning brides, as well as meaningful promises, dancing and merriment. A wedding is a grand celebration. It should be. But weddings last only a few hours. And it's more about present happiness and fun rather than the promise made for a lifetime.

Marriage is living in the trenches . . . together with people we love. Good times and bad are shared between a man and a woman who love one another and are committed to each other. They count on their partner to stand with them in the midst of the storms as well as the joys of life. It is a lifetime commitment, not a party. It's not just about merriment, though there is that. There is fun and reasons to celebrate, beautiful moments and unexpected joys, but there are also disappointments, sorrows and suffering. When we are pledged to another we are assured that we will not make our journey on our own--it will be shared.

There are all sorts of relationships--Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, friend to friend, even a child and their pet or neighbor to their neighbor and of course there is God's commitment to mankind. When we consider these relationships what do we see a wedding or a marriage? And what do we want?

A marriage makes life richer. It offers what really counts . . . love. 1 Corinthians 13 says,"Three things will last forever--faith, hope and love--and the greatest of these is love."


I pray the relationships in my life will be more than just weddings. How about you?

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Books & Writing -- Short and Sweet

Today's post is short and sweet. I'm a writer who lives with chronic pain and disability. And this morning I woke up with my back screaming at me . . . for unknown reasons. So today is a med day, bed day--not a work day.

Though sometimes we need to fight our way through difficulties, I've also learned there are circumstances that require rest and a conscience free of guilt when we need down time. Today is one of those days. My body will not heal without care and I'm doing my best to help it along.

We can only do what is possible and let the rest go.

Take good care of yourselves!

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

PS So far I'm not doing so good and so I'm asking you for your prayers. Only three days until my daughter's wedding--gotta be there.

Quiet Moments With God -- Seek Him

While reading from a Max Lucado devotional this morning I came across these words,"So people came to Him; my, how they came to Him! They came at night. They touched Him as He walked down the street; they followed Him around the sea; they invited Him into their homes and placed their children at His feet.

I was reminded of a scripture that speaks to me about the importance of seeking the Lord and heaven. Matthew 13: 44 says, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field."

The man found the treasure by chance, but recognized its value. So he gave everything he owned to purchase the field. Heavenly treasure is far more valuable than earthly riches. I wonder what we would be willing to do if we knew there was heavenly treasure buried in a field. Would we give up everything--everything?

What if we knew it was in the field, but didn't know where it had been hidden How long and hard would we work to find it and what would we be willing to sacrifice?

People came, seeking Jesus, just hoping for a glimpse or an opportunity to touch his robe. They knew he held the keys, only He offered them entrance into heaven.

Seek Christ and you will find Him. But . . . you must be willing to seek.

Grace and peace to you from God.

Relationship -- Father & Son

Today is Good Friday -- the day Christ gave up His life. Too often we consider His sacrifice lightly. We fail to contemplate and pray about what our Lord did for us. Good Friday is a day of deep sorrow and hope renewed. What happened on that day is so big that we mere humans can't fully comprehend its divergent offering to the world -- a covenant between God and man, fulfilled. The lamb of God sacrificed. Heaven accessible for all who accept God's offering of His Son.

If not for Christ's willingness to fulfill His Father's promise to us we would be locked away in our sin for all eternity. And just because Jesus is the God/man what He faced was not easy. The night before His arrest, Jesus agonized over what was to come. He knew what lay before Him and though He asked God if there were another way, He submitted to His Father's will and lay his life down, trusting God and obeying Him.

This was the greatest sorrow the world would ever know, yet Jesus offered Himself to His Father and to us. It was more than suffering and death, it was the acceptance of all mankind's sins, laid upon Him while at the same moment separation from His Father God, something that had never happened before nor since.

Jesus trusted His Father. We can trust Christ. He gave all a man can give--his life.

Easter is coming, a day to herald Christ's resurrection, but before you celebrate, take time to contemplate the reason, the sacrifice made and the inheritance offered. And honor our Lord. The gift is free to us, but it came at a great price to the Lord.

There is no greater love than to give up one's life for a brother.

Thank you, Jesus.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Books & Writing -- A Privilege

I just finished transcribing hours of cassette tapes that were sent to me by a woman who lived an incredible life. Several years ago, when she first approached me about writing her life story I was too busy and didn't give her the time she deserved. However, she's tenacious and she didn't give up. Occasionally I'd get a call from her or a card. And then, one day when she approached me at a booksigning and told me some of her story, I finally listened. I now have the privilege of telling her story.

Sometimes in the midst of all the work, all the marketing and rejections, and even in the midst of success we forget that it is a privilege to be a writer.

Each writer has their own reason for writing. Me -- I love it, but more than that I believe it is what God asked me to do. He has a plan that is bigger than my own. I trust Him and so I write and do my best to glorify Him in the tales that I write.

I must also remember my readers and be grateful for them, for without them I wouldn't be writing for publication. There is an audience of readers who love my stories and some who hear the deep things of my heart while reading one of my books. I am thankful for you.

There is no getting around it--writing is hard work and sometimes it feels like torture. But it is so much more. It is discovery. It is wonder. It is joy. It is growth. And I am grateful for it all.

I'm working on my first true life story, and as I've listened to the cassette tapes that hold the story that will become my next book I am astounded at a little girl's unusual, often horrific and sometimes beautiful life. God's hand is and was upon her. And the girl she was and the woman she became inspires me. The hours I've spent with her have left me breathless at the great privilege I've been given.

As writers, we must remember our job is a gift. It's not always easy to hang on to that truth, especially when we're in the trenches and wondering why and how we got where we are. And when we wonder whatever induced us to think we could write. And why in heaven's name did we begin this writing journey at all . . it's just too hard.

Still, I ask you to remember the wonder of it. Savor every sweet moment. Be prepared for the unexpected. And know it is more than a job because it is . . . more.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Make Me A Channel.

Make Me a Channel by St. Francis of Assisi:

“Lord, make me a channel of your peace. Where there is hatred let me bring love. Where there is offense, forgiveness. Where there is discord, reconciliation. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is sadness, joy. Where there is darkness, your light.”

When I read this my heart wrenches. Even at my best I cannot reach this ideal. And I'm rarely at my best. I fall far short of God's standard -- Sometimes I want to hate -- Sometimes I stubbornly hold on to offenses -- Sometimes I rail against others -- Sometimes my faith is more like a limp noodle than a strong, straight rod -- Often I struggle to climb out of a pit of despair.

I long to please God, to be a woman of faith, love and hope, filled with joy that overflows to others. I want to be a light to the world. But more importantly I want to be a light to those closest to me. Those who know me at my best and at my worst. What does my family see in me? I pray they will see Christ. I've been told, Mom, we know you're not perfect. But in your weakness God has been faithful. You demonstrate love toward us even even when we're at our worst. We have seen what it is to walk with Christ because you walk with Him. You have loved us. And we love you.

Though I have fallen short in so many ways, God has seen to bless me anyway. And I am forever bonded with my family in love through Christ.















I haven't done it perfectly, but I know The One who is perfect. He upholds me when I am weak and loves me when I don't deserve to be loved. He has forgiven all my sins and thrown them as far as the east is from the west. Because of Him I am a channel of His love and forgiveness.

Only because of Him.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Relationship -- It began in The Garden.

"When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about the garden."

Adam and Eve heard the Lord in the garden! Can you imagine, walking in the garden with God? When I walk through a forest with the sound of wind in the trees and bird song all around I catch a glimpse. When I look out over a broad green valley I catch a glimpse. When I gaze at an azure sky tufted with clouds I catch a glimpse. I can see Him and feel His presence. And yet, it isn't The Garden.

In the beginning there was no enmity between man and God. Adam and Eve conversed with the Lord. He was Father God. They loved one another and spent time together. They had a relationship. And then sin destroyed the perfection of that relationship.

Since that time, mankind has longed for what he lost. It is only because Jesus Christ permitted men to nail him to a cross and then accepted our sins as His own that it became possible for us to walk with The Father as Adam and Eve once did. Do you find yourself longing for that kind of relationship? To be so close to God that He isn't further away than your next breath?

I do. And I hunger for that kind of relationship with the people in my life. The Garden is the place we begin. The Father reaches down to us, we accept His embrace, His unconditional love and then we reach out to others. Human love is flawed and insufficient unless it is coupled with the love of God.

If we're to love one another as God commands us, we must begin with Him.


Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Books and Writing -- Don't Be Afraid

A few days ago, I chatted with a writing friend of mine. She's working on her first novel--a wonderful story! During our conversation she admitted to frustration. It was taking her a very long time to write her book. As she explained the problem it was clear that her mental editor was in control when her free spirit ought to be. My advice . . . Don't be afraid to write crap.

Did I say that?

I sure did. Write crap if that's what it takes to charge ahead and get your story from you brain to the page. There are a lot of us who have to wrestle our editor to the ground if we want to create. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for revising, tightening and polishing, but that time is not during the visionary and inspired stage of writing. If we want the inspired story to emerge our minds need to be free of editing constraints. If we maintain the controlled word crafting of the red pen it's as if we've harnessed a bird and then expected it to fly. Not possible.

Set yourself free and simply write. Take a few minutes to envision your scene, then place your fingers on the computer keys and leap into the story, typing as fast as your fingers can go. Put down whatever comes into your mind. Do not stop for any reason, not for misspelled words, stupid ideas, paragraphs that don't work--nothing, just keep going until the scene is complete. You can do this for each chapter, scene . . . or work through an entire book this way.

JUST GET IT DOWN!

Once that's done, bring your editor out. Use it and craft your story. Have fun. And don't forget to fly.


Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- Take A Risk

While preparing to leave for town today, my mind went wandering. It often does. I got to thinking about all I need to accomplish in the coming months. The list is long and I started to feel overwhelmed. I reminded myself that God is able. And yet, worry niggled though my mind. God is able . . . but am I?

My thoughts turned to scripture. Ephesians 3:20 says, "Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think." Clearly God is way ahead of me and my worries. So the question hangs in the air -- Why do I worry? What is at the core of my doubts?

I have to go to a familiar story. In the midst of a storm Jesus approached the disciples in their boat in a most unusual fashion. He walked on the water. He said, "Don't be afraid. Take courage. I am here." Peter responded by saying, "Tell me to come to you, walking on water." Jesus answer was simple and straight forward. "Yes. Come." Peter climbed out of the boat and stepped onto the water and walked toward Jesus. And then he made a fatal error. He saw the strong wind and the waves, became terrified and sank.

When Peter first stepped out of the boat the storm was all around him, it didn't suddenly appear after he decided to walk to Jesus, but he walked anyway. It wasn't until he looked at the storm instead of Jesus that he got into trouble. That is so like me. I believe. I'm filled with hope. I step out. And then I take my eyes off Christ, off the prize and I sink.

Jesus response to Peter is stunning. Though he reaches out and saves Peter, he says, "You have so little faith. Why did you doubt me?" He didn't give Peter any slack. He got straight to the heart of the problem--faith. Who or what was Peter placing his faith in?

Society tells us to rely upon ourselves, our gifts, our strengths or on those things that are offered to us by the world. However, David states the answer to our problems in Psalm 63:8 "I cling to you, your strong right hand holds me securely." Only God has a firm hold on us. There is no security in the world.

Sometimes Peter was impulsive. He jumped to conclusions. He even denied Christ. But with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit he became a man of great faith. He was bold. He took risks. And his eyes were on his Lord and on his calling.

I want to be a Peter. I long to be unafraid. To be bold. And to find tranquility in the presence of my Lord, who offers peace and power. What I must do is keep my eyes on Him and accept His offering.

Have you had a Peter moment, stepped out in faith and then faltered? If we took a survey my guess is we all have. And even when we "fail" Jesus reaches out and lifts us up. Don't let one falter, or a hundred of them, leave you weakened and afraid. Get up. Try again. Take a risk.

Grace and peace to you from God,,

Bonnie

Change Can Be Fun -- WATCH FOR CHANGES HERE!

Good morning. I'm thankful for another day on this planet . . . even if the rain won't stop. : -)

I'm thinking about making some changes to my blog. And I need your input. What would you like to hear about? What are your interests? And what do you see as my passions? I definitely know what some of them are, but I could use a more objective eye--YOURS.

I'm excited about what's to come. Change can be fun. And I think it's time to shake things up a bit.

Thanks so much for your help.

Grace and peace to you.

Bonnie

About Today -- Feed Your Soul

This evening, my husband and I shared a meal with friends and then attended a Beyond Celtic concert. The food was delicious and dinner conversation was comfortable and pleasant. The concert was a stirring combination of Irish music and song with Irish step dancing. And there was a bit of humor thrown in to spice things up. It was great fun--just what we needed to lift us out of the daily grind.

Before leaving home, I wasn't enthusiastic about going. I was tired and knew that the five hour outing would create additional pain. But I didn't want to let my husband down and so off we went. I'm so glad my "rut" didn't keep me home. Forcing myself awake and the extra pain was well worth it. Time with good friends is to be cherished, and my spirits were uplifted while I snuggled close to my husband and enjoyed the show.

After the show, I people-watched while waiting for a valet to retrieve our car. People-watching is always fun.

One man was in Scottish dress, including the kilts. A woman wore an interesting outfit that looked like it had been splashed with a dozen different sample paints of different colored paint, and another woman stood in the cold, windy night air dressed in a moo-moo and sandals. She looked comfortable enough even though I huddled in my sweater, wishing I hadn't left my coat in the car. From what I could see they all appeared to be having a good time--chatting and laughing.

That's how it's supposed to be. Life is to be enjoyed.

It's late now and I'm in my jammies at home, but I feel more alive, more inspired and happier than I did before I left this evening. My world looks brighter. It took effort for me to climb out of the rut I was in, but I'm happy I did. I wish the same for each of you. Take time to consider if you're in need of some fun. Merriment is good for us.

Don't let the good stuff pass you by. Feed your soul. It will thank you.

Grace and peace to you from God.

Quiet Moments With God -- A Perfect Prayer

Yesterday, my pastor painted a vivid picture of Jesus' time in the Garden of Gethsemane the night of his arrest. Though I'm well acquainted with this portion of scripture I saw it with new eyes. I love that about God's Word--there is always more to learn.

That night, Jesus knew what lay ahead--his arrest, brutal beatings, rejection, crucifixion, the weight of the world's sin laid upon him and the forsaking of The Father. He was the man/God and as a man he asked three of his disciples to wait with Him. He wanted his friends with him. He also wanted the disciples to witness his humanity and a humility which is greater than pride.

If the disciples had remained awake that night they would have seen the heart of their Lord. In Mark 14:33 & 34 it says, he was deeply distressed and in 34 Jesus tells the disciples, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." And then He goes away and He prays that if it were possible that the hour might pass from Him. "Abba Father," he said, "Everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

What a perfect example for us. Jesus told those he loved that he was distressed and he wanted them with him. (His disciples let Him down.) Jesus went to His Father and prayed his heart. He was honest with God, but ultimately wanted God's will, not His own.

What a blessed reminder -- God's will, not mine.

In recent weeks I've said many prayers, beseeching God for mercy and help, wisdom and discernment. And He's answered. But when I look around me, all is not well. Life challenges my faith. There are no answers only a desire and need to trust. I pray my heart, but I pray for God's will above all else. I long for the faith to see beyond my present circumstances and for assurance that nothing touches me or the ones' I love except by God's permission.

When we place our lives into the hands of Almighty God and trust Him, He will show us the way. He will give us peace. When Jesus knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane that fateful night He did not demand His own way. He did not "name it and claim it", as it were. No, He placed himself under His Father's authority and he obeyed by laying down His life for all mankind. What if He had refused?

His prayer is a perfect prayer. His heart is a perfect heart. He is our perfect example.

Grace and peace to you from God,

Bonnie

Quiet Moments With God -- The Healer of Broken Hearts

In the midst of sorrow or hardship, our sight sometimes becomes so narrow we forget there is One who sees it all--the beginning and the end. While our eyes are on our troubles, we do not see the glory or the hope. Instead, we feel the weight of sorrow, fear, responsibility.

God waits for us to look to Him. He will carry our burdens. He will break through our sorrows. He will take our hand and squeeze tightly. He will draw us close and enfold us in His love. And He will heal broken hearts.

The glory of God is so bright it pushes back every shadow. When we are in the light only then can we see the truth.

There is nothing God does not know about our lives--the joys and the sorrows. The wonder of it all is that no matter how deep a valley we find ourselves in He will be there also. God gives us strength and direction. He will carry us out of the valley and set us upon the hilltops where we can see the beauty of a landscape shimmering in His light.

He has a plan . . . He always does. He wastes nothing. He will lead us into His presence and reveal His purposes. Praise Him!

Grace and peace to you from God.

Bonnie